A Woman with Something to Say

A good amount of time has been spent recently at our house on the topic of the group "Ordain Women" and all the noise surrounding their opinions and methods. I have two teenage daughters (I count Grace, even though she's just turning 12). So it matters to me to have some discussion with them about this. The other day I stopped Jessie on her way to bed and asked her what she had heard about it, and her thoughts. We had a good talk.

There's a lot of chatter (not all productive) about it on social media and the blog network. I have a few friends sympathetic to the ordination of women to the priesthood, and I have wanted to say something...officially...in writing. Even though only a handful of people read  this. I want to say what I think.

I am a DAUGHTER OF GOD. I know this. This is my PRIMARY IDENTITY. I have faith that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I believe that he restored his church on the earth almost 200 years ago now, and endowed it with priesthood authority. I honor that priesthood and respect the men who hold and serve with that authority. I expect them to respect me.

I am an equal partner with my husband. I am a MOTHER. This is my identity not only because I have (as many have pointed out) more than the average number of children (by about 3 times). Motherhood is a deep topic. One that I think we have merely scratched the surface of in this mortal life. 

Creation. The nurturing of new beings. 

There is no greater influence. In the eternities, I believe we will see a complete realization and understanding of this role.

Neal Maxwell said this...and I believe it with all my heart:

               “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of  women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? "

This is where I think so many get off when it comes to the roles of women in the kingdom of God. Where women themselves misunderstand the importance of their womanhood / motherhood. When I think about eternal life, my motherhood moves into a clearer light; out of the fog of drudging menial work, late nights, falling behind in fashion, putting up with the disrespect of the little/big people we spend our lives serving, science projects, tight budgets, and fatigue.... MOTHERHOOD in this life is a revelation which teaches us the subtle lessons of GODHOOD -- unconditional love, sacrifice, and through it all a growing sense of joy and SELF WORTH. 

But there is another dimension of godhood, corresponding to our complimentary genders: PRIESTHOOD, the role of standing as intermediary (see LDS Bible Dictionary "priest") and the responsibility to preside. I think this is the stumbling block for many, this presiding part. In this mortal life it's more visible, and for many that equates to more importance. But this is not so in the eyes of God. 

I can understand, from a worldly perspective, why it would seem unfair. Over the years sometimes I have thought that my role is less important. I mean, I don't get any money or recognition doing what I do (what a stupid, short-sighted measure of the worth of my role). This was due to a lack of understanding on my part, not a reality.

Motherhood has taught me the beautiful irony that Jesus articulated, "...whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister." (Mark 10:43) I could not have learned (and I continue to learn) these deep and mysterious truths in any other way. So much of it is beyond words to express. In my opinion, the full appreciation of motherhood is one of the mysteries of godliness, for us to discover by the spirit.

Priesthood, in it's way, teaches this same lessons to those who have been entrusted with it. I imagine, in the same way my husband learns deep and unspeakable truths about selflessness, service, God's love for his children, and his worth through the exercise of the priesthood. 

It disturbs me to see some who profess (I assume sincerely) to have testimonies of the authority of the restored church of Jesus Christ, challenge key doctrines of that church. To me it makes no sense. It's either true or it's not. If it's true, then demanding that the leadership of that church change a central doctrine to accommodate your opinions is a ridiculous exercise. They do not have the authority to change something that God has established.

If, on the other hand, you believe that they could change the doctrine if they wanted to, you cannot believe that the doctrine comes from God, and by extension, the church must not be true. You cannot have it both ways.

Or, if you sincerely believe that God might one day authorize the ordaining of women, demanding it out of his time frame in public spectacles seems like a modern day steadying of the ark.

No matter how you look at it, it is a logical fallacy, reminding me of Korihor's absurd explanation for his preistcraft: that an "angel" told him to preach that there was no God. It makes no sense. (Book of Mormon - Alma chapter 30)

And yet, I see academic arguments or cute-and-clever blog posts incorporating Mormon-ads boldly calling for the ordination of women or at very least criticizing the church for their response... all of them somehow dodging the obvious. This is God's church or it is not. If it is, then it is up to us to reconcile ourselves to his plan and our roles within it...not vise versa. If it's not God's church...there's no reason to hang around.

The whole thing saddens me. That some of my sisters in the gospel are confused about the value of their role in the kingdom of God, and letting that doubt become more important than their faith (see Elder Oaks talk from LDS Gen. Conf. Oct. 2013).  Don't we all have questions and gaps in our understanding that we have to reconcile with God's plan for us? The thing is, if we put our faith first he fills in our gaps of understanding. Over time we come to see as he sees. That is the point of this life. 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)  

God's ways are not our ways. And I, for one, am grateful for that.

Tradition!

It's time for me to resurface here on JtSD. Many things have happened since my last post, one of which was my 39th birthday. It was a great birthday with many well-wishes from friends & siblings, celebratory meals with our parents and old friends, surprises, gifts...and a little reflection. Entering your 40th year gives you cause for reflection.

Like most people, I have those nagging questions that linger in the back of my mind:

* Am I doing what matters most in life? Have I wasted my time or talents?

* Am I satisfied with the person I have become / am becoming?

* Am I happy?

* Are my relationships with those I love as strong as they should be?


Nearing middle-age,  I can honestly say that I am more often content with the answers to these questions than I was 10 or 20 years ago. I am less frantic about being perfect, more at peace with myself and others. However, with life as busy as it is in this stage of my life (with toddlers and teenagers, and everything in between), I have to make a conscious effort to keep things in perspective. Usually when I am not running around taking care of business, I prefer to do NOTHING. Maybe it's the "natural man" being lazy, or maybe it's a need for down time in my hectic life...but if I don't make a conscious decision, it is easy to disengage. As a result, I find that activities with the family or strengthening relationships fall to the bottom of my list.

So, at this stage of my life I am especially grateful for the efforts of others in making these things happen. I am grateful that my mom's siblings send out a letter every month in turn, sharing their wisdom and stories from their lives. They are often funny, and always inspiring. I am grateful that my sister Beth stops by most every week to visit. I love those talks. I am grateful for my parents and Mike's parents who call to check in, and come by and listen. I am grateful for old friends who make getting together every birthday a priority. I am grateful that Mike thinks of fun stuff to do with the kids, when all of my energy is sapped in the practical pursuits of life. I am grateful that my family gets together every St. Patrick's Day (in addition to the other bigger holidays) to celebrate...because we are Sullivan's after all. I am grateful that my mom continues to put it together.

After the corned beef and cabbage

Irish dance moves.
My camera ran out of batteries right after this or I would also have included pictures of the treasure hunt and yearly airing of "Darby O'Gill and the Little People"

I was thinking today about how important family traditions are. They are a kind of anchor for our identity. When my kids go out into the world, they will take these memories, and the bonds they forged with family during these occasions. They will take the self-worth that comes from knowing who they are and where they belong.
And that is a great gift.

To my knowledge the celebration of St. Patrick's Day is new to our family, only since my siblings and I have had kids. But before that there were the Rogers family honky-tonk, and rock-n-roll jam sessions / dancing (always dancing), Sampson family devotionals, reunions, horse packing and camping trips, holidays...these are the moments that make a meaningful life. Not the driving, driving, and more driving, endless errands, and laundry (laundry is my nemesis), bills (also my nemesis)...not the hundreds of urgency's that fill our daily lives.

Going forward into middle age and beyond, I want to make our family traditions and nurturing relationships with those I love bigger priorities in my life.