The ideal role of technology in life has been an evolving topic for thought with me for some time. I would rather have ignored this subject all together, go hide out somewhere in the wilderness or at least just tell everyone I am a technological conscientious objector (cop out) and to live with it...because at some point the race to stay relevant just makes me tired. You know? But here's the little miracle: my children have forced me to consider the issue more deeply and to strike out into the unknown. No other reason would probably compel me.
So, think about this: NO ONE I knew had a cell phone until about 13 or 14 years ago. The internet has basically happened since I graduated from college. I learned about email as a junior in college and it seemed utterly magic to me. I could not wrap my brain around the idea of a vast indefinable network of computers integrated and pooling infinite amounts of information all the time. It was/is mind-blowing and awe inspiring. Back then I used the internet out of necessity, on a rudimentary level - because it was so complicated to me. And life went on. I thought a lot about what it all meant. I recognized and still recognize the power and usefulness of it - but more as a curious spectator.
I have used mostly just the technology that was necessary for a reasonably efficient life - because it was intimidating and always changing. As a result, Mike and I have kept things simple. Until pretty recently we've survived without cable or satellite TV (until the world dumped analog signal and forced us to). Our cell phones have usually been basic - because it makes my head hurt to think about the possibilities of so many extra features. I have not been in the habit of texting/messaging people when I want to communicate. I don't even think to check for stuff like that - because I assume that if someone needs something from me they will talk to me. I write stuff that I need to do or remember on paper. I have made some concessions: I did start a blog at Mike's suggestion. And with trepidation I dipped my toes into social networking about a year or so ago (still trying to work out the value of that). This has been my limited world. And it's been kind of nice and quiet.
Still, I've been very aware that I will HAVE to change for a lot of reasons, mainly so that I am available and relatable to our children. Our oldest is turning 13 this year. She yearns to "connect" to the world. A phone, Facebook, to have a presence of her own in the world of information..... we've been justifiably reluctant so far (just like I made her wait to wear make-up). But time is ticking and we've got to figure out what the appropriate time will be for that initiation, the appropriate boundaries, and our own tolerance levels. This has not been an easy exercise. We have no precedent from our own childhoods to draw from. And sometimes the things I see other parents doing around me seem to go against common sense - I'm not jumping on any of those band-wagons just yet.
So, as a start, this year I made it a resolution to make myself more comfortable with changing technology. We got new phones this week. We've been researching a lot of alternatives to traditional media sources...
And we are trying to build a working philosophy to draw from as our kids dive into all of it. Friday I was listening to my favorite radio program (Does anyone else you know have a favorite radio program? Sheesh...how old-fashioned and lame can a person sound?), Talk of the Nation Science Friday. They were discussing a book that is now on my list - "Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other". It was not a new discussion. I think people have been talking about how technology is changing the way we interact for a long time. But as I listened, the conversation was particularly relevant to the question of raising kids with it. Well adjusted and face-to-face-socialized children who can still function and benefit from technology. I'm all about that. They talked about the weirdness of the carefully constructed images that kids (and adults) create for themselves in their digital lives. How they can maintain a contrived style, fashion, body-image, even their personality by restricting most of their social interaction to text, Facebook, etc. I mean, if you keep things digital you have so much more control over what is revealed about you, right? It's so much less risky that way. Only posting perfect (retouched) photos of themselves, editing and re-editing what they say before putting it out there, so it comes out sounding perfectly cool/intelligent. Having a "friend" roster longer than anyone else's...
Anyway, this has been on my mind. For myself and for my kids.
I don't deny that understanding current technology is important. Somewhere there is an ideal balance. We are hoping to find it. And to stay unmoved by the pressure to "keep up" with (or exceed) everyone else.
I think we'll go snowshoeing soon. No phones allowed.
