The Boys in Dixie

Mike had the genius idea of taking the oldest 2 boys down to St. George a few weeks ago for a little guy bonding. He drove them down the weekend before their spring break. They did some long boarding and spent a day hiking in Zion before Mike headed home that Sunday, leaving them with Grandma and Grandpa for a week of mano a mano...or should I say dos a dos?

This picture almost made my heart stop...no matter how many times Mike assured me they were perfectly safe.

Mike doing a DP commercial atop Angel's Landing (Photo Cred: Tim Melton)

After Mike left, Howard and Tim (so glad Tim drove up from Vegas to spend that time with them!) kept the boys busy with multiple trips to the fishing pond up the hill (and subsequent fish-fry's), outings to the rec. center pool, shuttling the boys to the top of the their preferred long-boarding hill again and again, and up to Sand Hollow.

Tillman's face is priceless in this one

 Grandma kept them well fed as always and entertained around the house with Kinex. Here they are with a few of their creations.

We missed the boys while they were gone, but I have to admit that the house was a whole lot quieter.

On Friday we drove down as a family to get the boys. We spent a couple of days chillin' in the beautiful weather. We went out to Sand Hollow on Saturday, climbed around the rocks and had a leisurely day in the sand and the sun.

Screen shot from Jessie's Instagram  of the day.

We drove home Sunday morning, in time to make it back for our ward conference...and for Angie to teach her Primary class.

Thanks again Howard and Jacque! The boys had a week that they will always remember!

A Woman with Something to Say

A good amount of time has been spent recently at our house on the topic of the group "Ordain Women" and all the noise surrounding their opinions and methods. I have two teenage daughters (I count Grace, even though she's just turning 12). So it matters to me to have some discussion with them about this. The other day I stopped Jessie on her way to bed and asked her what she had heard about it, and her thoughts. We had a good talk.

There's a lot of chatter (not all productive) about it on social media and the blog network. I have a few friends sympathetic to the ordination of women to the priesthood, and I have wanted to say something...officially...in writing. Even though only a handful of people read  this. I want to say what I think.

I am a DAUGHTER OF GOD. I know this. This is my PRIMARY IDENTITY. I have faith that Jesus Christ is my Savior. I believe that he restored his church on the earth almost 200 years ago now, and endowed it with priesthood authority. I honor that priesthood and respect the men who hold and serve with that authority. I expect them to respect me.

I am an equal partner with my husband. I am a MOTHER. This is my identity not only because I have (as many have pointed out) more than the average number of children (by about 3 times). Motherhood is a deep topic. One that I think we have merely scratched the surface of in this mortal life. 

Creation. The nurturing of new beings. 

There is no greater influence. In the eternities, I believe we will see a complete realization and understanding of this role.

Neal Maxwell said this...and I believe it with all my heart:

               “When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of  women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? "

This is where I think so many get off when it comes to the roles of women in the kingdom of God. Where women themselves misunderstand the importance of their womanhood / motherhood. When I think about eternal life, my motherhood moves into a clearer light; out of the fog of drudging menial work, late nights, falling behind in fashion, putting up with the disrespect of the little/big people we spend our lives serving, science projects, tight budgets, and fatigue.... MOTHERHOOD in this life is a revelation which teaches us the subtle lessons of GODHOOD -- unconditional love, sacrifice, and through it all a growing sense of joy and SELF WORTH. 

But there is another dimension of godhood, corresponding to our complimentary genders: PRIESTHOOD, the role of standing as intermediary (see LDS Bible Dictionary "priest") and the responsibility to preside. I think this is the stumbling block for many, this presiding part. In this mortal life it's more visible, and for many that equates to more importance. But this is not so in the eyes of God. 

I can understand, from a worldly perspective, why it would seem unfair. Over the years sometimes I have thought that my role is less important. I mean, I don't get any money or recognition doing what I do (what a stupid, short-sighted measure of the worth of my role). This was due to a lack of understanding on my part, not a reality.

Motherhood has taught me the beautiful irony that Jesus articulated, "...whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister." (Mark 10:43) I could not have learned (and I continue to learn) these deep and mysterious truths in any other way. So much of it is beyond words to express. In my opinion, the full appreciation of motherhood is one of the mysteries of godliness, for us to discover by the spirit.

Priesthood, in it's way, teaches this same lessons to those who have been entrusted with it. I imagine, in the same way my husband learns deep and unspeakable truths about selflessness, service, God's love for his children, and his worth through the exercise of the priesthood. 

It disturbs me to see some who profess (I assume sincerely) to have testimonies of the authority of the restored church of Jesus Christ, challenge key doctrines of that church. To me it makes no sense. It's either true or it's not. If it's true, then demanding that the leadership of that church change a central doctrine to accommodate your opinions is a ridiculous exercise. They do not have the authority to change something that God has established.

If, on the other hand, you believe that they could change the doctrine if they wanted to, you cannot believe that the doctrine comes from God, and by extension, the church must not be true. You cannot have it both ways.

Or, if you sincerely believe that God might one day authorize the ordaining of women, demanding it out of his time frame in public spectacles seems like a modern day steadying of the ark.

No matter how you look at it, it is a logical fallacy, reminding me of Korihor's absurd explanation for his preistcraft: that an "angel" told him to preach that there was no God. It makes no sense. (Book of Mormon - Alma chapter 30)

And yet, I see academic arguments or cute-and-clever blog posts incorporating Mormon-ads boldly calling for the ordination of women or at very least criticizing the church for their response... all of them somehow dodging the obvious. This is God's church or it is not. If it is, then it is up to us to reconcile ourselves to his plan and our roles within it...not vise versa. If it's not God's church...there's no reason to hang around.

The whole thing saddens me. That some of my sisters in the gospel are confused about the value of their role in the kingdom of God, and letting that doubt become more important than their faith (see Elder Oaks talk from LDS Gen. Conf. Oct. 2013).  Don't we all have questions and gaps in our understanding that we have to reconcile with God's plan for us? The thing is, if we put our faith first he fills in our gaps of understanding. Over time we come to see as he sees. That is the point of this life. 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)  

God's ways are not our ways. And I, for one, am grateful for that.

Tradition!

It's time for me to resurface here on JtSD. Many things have happened since my last post, one of which was my 39th birthday. It was a great birthday with many well-wishes from friends & siblings, celebratory meals with our parents and old friends, surprises, gifts...and a little reflection. Entering your 40th year gives you cause for reflection.

Like most people, I have those nagging questions that linger in the back of my mind:

* Am I doing what matters most in life? Have I wasted my time or talents?

* Am I satisfied with the person I have become / am becoming?

* Am I happy?

* Are my relationships with those I love as strong as they should be?


Nearing middle-age,  I can honestly say that I am more often content with the answers to these questions than I was 10 or 20 years ago. I am less frantic about being perfect, more at peace with myself and others. However, with life as busy as it is in this stage of my life (with toddlers and teenagers, and everything in between), I have to make a conscious effort to keep things in perspective. Usually when I am not running around taking care of business, I prefer to do NOTHING. Maybe it's the "natural man" being lazy, or maybe it's a need for down time in my hectic life...but if I don't make a conscious decision, it is easy to disengage. As a result, I find that activities with the family or strengthening relationships fall to the bottom of my list.

So, at this stage of my life I am especially grateful for the efforts of others in making these things happen. I am grateful that my mom's siblings send out a letter every month in turn, sharing their wisdom and stories from their lives. They are often funny, and always inspiring. I am grateful that my sister Beth stops by most every week to visit. I love those talks. I am grateful for my parents and Mike's parents who call to check in, and come by and listen. I am grateful for old friends who make getting together every birthday a priority. I am grateful that Mike thinks of fun stuff to do with the kids, when all of my energy is sapped in the practical pursuits of life. I am grateful that my family gets together every St. Patrick's Day (in addition to the other bigger holidays) to celebrate...because we are Sullivan's after all. I am grateful that my mom continues to put it together.

After the corned beef and cabbage

Irish dance moves.
My camera ran out of batteries right after this or I would also have included pictures of the treasure hunt and yearly airing of "Darby O'Gill and the Little People"

I was thinking today about how important family traditions are. They are a kind of anchor for our identity. When my kids go out into the world, they will take these memories, and the bonds they forged with family during these occasions. They will take the self-worth that comes from knowing who they are and where they belong.
And that is a great gift.

To my knowledge the celebration of St. Patrick's Day is new to our family, only since my siblings and I have had kids. But before that there were the Rogers family honky-tonk, and rock-n-roll jam sessions / dancing (always dancing), Sampson family devotionals, reunions, horse packing and camping trips, holidays...these are the moments that make a meaningful life. Not the driving, driving, and more driving, endless errands, and laundry (laundry is my nemesis), bills (also my nemesis)...not the hundreds of urgency's that fill our daily lives.

Going forward into middle age and beyond, I want to make our family traditions and nurturing relationships with those I love bigger priorities in my life.

The New and Exciting (and not so exciting)

Lots going on as usual. Here are the highlights.

Grace's art teacher hosted a yearly art exhibit at her home featuring her students' work. Here's Grace with her favorite piece, "Hot Dog".

I grabbed a shot of Grace and Emory in front of one of Emory's paintings (the tree) and a few landscapes and a still life by Grandma Ilean. Grandma has been the girls' patron of the arts for the last year or so, helping to provide art lessons. They both LOVE it! Thanks, Mom. (By the way, Grace worked on this outfit days in advance. She wanted to look legit for the show. Always apropos. ) 

:)

And now for a little update on every one's basketball seasons. Grace and Tillman finished up strong this past weekend, each buttoning up a win to end the season. Jessie's Lady Miners have been improving steadily, garnering a few more wins. They are down to the last several games of the season, and looking to win most if not all of those.

A blurry picture of Grace putting up her fist points in a game. Woohoo! (She's so little!) That girl trying to block her has a pretty good vertical, doesn't she?

The boys playing pirate ship last week. Sully looks pretty surly here.

Mike and I heard that Toad the Wet Sprocket was coming to town - touring with their first album in like 16 years. Mike bought tickets before we even heard the whole album.
Let me just say, it was a WONDERFUL show. As I get older there is growing aspect of character appreciation in my music appreciation . I gravitate more and more to bands and artists that are not only talented and entertaining but also admirable people. I love these guys.

Listen here to "New Constellation" from the new album.


...and one of my new favorites since Glen Phillips gave it some commentary at the show... "Rare Bird"



Sully's Kindergarten put on a first class production several weeks ago highlighting all the things they have been learning about geography and cultures. Here's Sully (looking cool like Ricky Schroder with his polo collar up like that) with his teacher after the big show.

And a little snap shot from today. Soggy but beaming. Life is so good.

An Evening in the Splash Lab

Entering the Splash Lab...or "Stlash Lab"

 Last week we met up with some of our old  friends from BHS days. Our friend Tadd is the creator of the Splash Lab at BYU, and after getting together for the first time in years last spring, we all decided we would meet there next.

True to his personality, Tadd has fashioned the perfect career for himself in the Department of Engineering at BYU. He and a group of his grad students come up with cool stuff to photograph at extreme high speed (one of his cameras alone cost about as mush as a house...and takes like 1 million frames PER SECOND), and then study the dynamics. While the things they discover are undoubtedly useful in the real world (like how to engineer better toilets for reducing splash back :), or better designs for the Department of Defense), I am convinced that people (including all of their corporate sponsors) really just love Tadd. Everyone does. He's just one of those people. He's made a bit of a name for himself and his lab with his videos featured on NPR - Science Friday, BBC, CNN, NBC, local new outlets...and who knows what-all. Like I said, he's just one of those people that other people want to be around, because there's always sure to be something fun going on. Julie, his wife/my second cousin, says she just wishes he got paid according to his popularity. ha ha  ha ha. Don't we all, Julie... ha ha ha...

We took Noble, because we had a suspicion that Noble would find a kindred spirit in Tadd. I think we were correct in our hunch.

Old friends, Jenn and Ang.  Capturing the magic.

After one of our first experiments, watching the instant replay. Look at the joy on Noble's face!

Mike telling a story to the crowd while Tadd sets up for the shot.

Dry ice in water

Tadd had messaged everyone ahead of time about bringing in things they wanted to see filmed at high speed. I couldn't think of anything, but luckily my friend Jenn came through for us, bringing in a bag of fire crackers and a GI Joe guy. Tadd also had Julie bring in some dry ice. After that it was just up to our imaginations to determine what crazy stunts we would try.

Josh on bubble blowing duty with the dry ice, Tadd describing the change in light refraction to us.

We filmed bubbles popping, and Tadd explained the strange way that light refracts and then is absorbed right before it pops. We filmed dry ice in water, a fire cracker exploding, then we filmed a fire cracker exploding in water (thanks to Jenn's husband, Josh for engineering that tricky feat). The pinnacle moment of the evening came when we pulled out all the stops, strapped a couple of fire crackers to the GI Joe, lit the fuse and then dropped him in water. We thought for a moment that the fuse had been extinguished in the water, but then "BOOM!" The entire beaker of water exploded, reminiscent of the crazy story Tadd had just finished telling us about the time he had accidentally blown up a 100 gallon tank of water on the upper floors of a building at MIT where he had been doing research, and flooded the floors below. Glad I wasn't there for that one. ha ha ha.
After the dust settled in the Splash Lab, Tadd's first response was to turn to Noble who was holding the camera trigger and yell, "Did you get it?!" And as soon as Noble replied that he had, Tadd let out a triumphant, "YES!"

Duck and cover, waiting for the fire cracker to blow.

GI Joe survived without a scratch (Clark's kids got to take him home as a souvenir), and the footage was incredible! We watched it again and again, and then couldn't stop laughing and talking about how awesome it all was as we wiped up the water and shards of glass. (Sorry again Tadd about the beaker...)

Clark, Noble and Mike poised for the explosion.

The video file was way too big to put on a jump drive to bring home, so Tadd said he'd put it up on the website. I'll share that when it's up. In the meantime... this will give you an idea of how much fun we had.

We capped off our fun in the lab by using physics to break glass bottles with the palm of our hands (Or a rubber mallet if you weren't tough enough...which was everyone except Tadd who has had a lot of practice. You should have seen the look of disgust he gave me after I gave my bottle a dainty tap. ha ha ha ha. I was afraid it would hurt.). Tadd explained how cavitation works to break the bottle.

Here we are posing after the fun. As I pulled this photo up in my email (from Josh's phone)  I noticed that it shows some of the ceiling tiles Tadd told us that he managed to pull out before, in his words, "I was caught" in an impulsive effort to redecorate the Splash Lab. Yet ANOTHER hilarious story.

After all the science fun, we drove over to Mountain West Burrito for dinner. Julie had to leave to get home to a sick child, and we wish that Clark's wife, Juli (another high school friend) could have been there, along with several others. But we had an unforgettable time. At dinner we laughed till we cried. I miss that. I love these guys. 

On the way home Noble was delighted to hear that he is related distantly, by marriage (Juli = my second cousin on my mom's side) to Tadd, his new hero. 

Out of the quiet in the back seat he said, "Can we do that again.....ALL THE TIME?" 

Mike and I smiled to ourselves. That was cool.

In the Morning

Sully LOVES Life Cereal. He is just like Mikey from the old commercials.   We can't stock enough of it.

Greeting the day with a little yoga.

Namaste.

Southbound

Just as the most recent winter inversion was setting in we packed up and headed south for the 4 day MLK weekend. We have been anxious to meet our new nephew and see Mike's parents - so when the opportunity presented itself, we went.

We had to leave Jessie behind. She had school on Friday and basketball practice that she couldn't miss. It seems like this having to leave a child or two behind for family trips is happening more often as the kids get older. It is one of my least favorite things about having teenagers. We missed her.

Friday we got Jess off to school for late start day...which meant it was also a late start for us getting on the road. We had an uneventful trip and pulled up to the Melton's house in Washington about 4:30. 

It felt like a long time since we had seen them...a lot had happened since Christmas.

Saturday morning we took a beautiful little hike up into the reserve north of the house. The sun was warm, the air clean, and the views spectacular!

Looking north into the reserve. A lot to explore. We'll be back!

Zion on the horizon. So beautiful!

Sully schmoozed himself a ride for the last mile on grandpa's shoulders.

 Grandpa treated everyone to slushies at the nearby Marverik on our trek back home, and we sat out on the patio in the sun to finish them.

This is the life!

After our morning jaunt, we had lunch and put Abner down for a nap. Howard took the older boys to swim at the rec center pool, while Jacque and Grace stayed home with Ab. Mike and I drove south to Las Vegas to visit his brothers and sister-in-law and meet our new nephew.

We met Gary and Val at the hospital in Southern Highlands, where Mike and I were taken one at a time back into the NICU to see baby Pax. The little guy is up over 5 lbs. now and getting stronger every day. Hopefully soon he'll be able to go home. Here he is at 3 weeks old. 

He is one special...and beloved boy. I was so proud of Gary and Val. It is a beautiful thing to watch them as parents. I was brought to tears once or twice. I could have stayed and stared at Pax all night. (If you ask Mike, I practically did, staying in the NICU a really long time. I couldn't help it.)

We love him.

We had dinner later with Gary and Val and Tim, when he got off of work. I wish I had taken a picture of everyone together. We really miss seeing them, and being more involved in each others' lives. I am so grateful for all our siblings.

We left Las Vegas about 10 PM, and made the drive back to St. George that night, getting in about 1 AM Utah time. I slept content that night, having spent some quality time, making memories with family that day.

Sunday was a very relaxing day. After church we ate, the kids went with Mike and Howard to visit one of Howard's cousins up the road, and I got a nap. Woohoo!

Cleaning up Sunday dinner with Grandma

Monday morning we had a leisurely breakfast and packed up. 

Mike and Howard played a game of football with the older kids in the park down the hill.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Sully and Ab were hooked up with a movie inside their box/fort/spaceship.

...And cut playdo with Grandma.

We finally packed up the car, and then had lunch with Mom and Dad at Costa Vida before striking out for the great white north. 

We stopped at a gas station in Cedar City where the kids all purchased a Sobe for the road. 

Not sure that was the best idea. What happened afterward  will forever be known in family legend as

the "So-pee" incident. 

It was one potty emergency after another all the way home. We stopped several more times, including a gas station and the freeway off ramp at Holden. There were also a few episodes of "refilling" an empty Sobe bottle in the back seat, (I still laugh when I think about Grace asking pathetically, "Please can I come sit on the middle row?" so she didn't have to sit right next to her brother for that.)... as well as having to change a set of wet clothes. Sully somehow also managed to wet his stuffed sock monkey...which reminded us of the time when Tillman had an accident on a family road trip to Yosemite, after which he announced confidently to everyone, "Don't worry, I wiped it up with my pillow!"  ha ha ha.

Oh my goodness. Good times.

Thanks to all our south-western relatives for the great weekend! See you soon!

It's a New Year

We are safely past mid-winter, and though there is technically more daylight every day, it can certainly seem like the dreariest part of the year. But we're keeping things interesting.

During the Christmas / New Year's break:

* I finally painted the basement kitchen area.

Still getting used to the color. I don't know, but I think once we get the white kitchen cabinets that I want up, it should look pretty good. (crossing my fingers)

 * We went down to the BYU MOA to see the exhibit, "Sacred Gifts" - paintings from the life of the Savior by Carl Bloch and several other artists. We met my brother Casey and his family.

It was a beautiful exhibit! I liked it as much or more than the Carl Bloch exhibit we attended a few years ago down there. There was one particular painting by Frans Schwartz that I had never seen before right at the entrance of the exhibit, and which is now one of my favorites. It is on loan from a church in Denmark.

It is very impressive.

"Agony in the Garden" - Frans Schwartz - 1898

* We hosted Jessie's basketball team at the house for a party. The older kids went to their friends houses for a late night, and the BHS lady Sophomore basketball team took over the basement. Good times.

* New Year's was, as usual, a long night for Mike and I. I have never been a big fan of staying up just to watch the clock tick into a new calendar year.  #1. I value my sleep. #2. I don't particularly love going out partying, especially late into the night... waiting for the clock to strike 12. (See #1.)  For these reasons New Year's usually passes without much fan fair around here. It was actually a bit of a relief when our kids were old enough to want to have their own get-together's with friends on New Years...it took the pressure off of me to have big plans. I had to be at home to keep tabs on the kids. So this year the little brothers went to bed, J. went to the big multi-stake dance with friends, Noble and his gang roved back and forth between houses...mostly ours...playing ping pong, Xbox, foraging goodies, etc., Grace went to the neighbor's,and Tillman hung out with Mike and I. We watched a Nova documentary on Amazon Prime, and dozed off to sleep on the couch about 10 PM. We woke up later to make sure everyone was home, and to send stragglers to their own homes...and, of course, listen to Jessie's enthusiastic retelling of her highlights from the dance.  :)    Happy New Year!

* We had a death in the family. Poor Grace. Her little hamster, Mars, passed away a few days after the new year. We don't know why. Grace was devastated and asked questions about animals going to heaven, and resurrection, etc. We reassured her that animals would not be forgotten.

We also tried to comfort her by explaining that her hamster was "guaranteed"... so we could go pick out a new one at the pet store. That helped a little, but she was really concerned about remembering Mars, and wanted to bury him in the yard. This led to an awkward explanation about how the pet store would require us to bring the body back (good thing I kept the box they sent him home in) in order to get a new hamster. 

So we boxed up little Mars and drove to the pet store. 

Grace absorbed in her sorrow.

Once she had been reassured by the pet store staff that his body would be respectfully disposed of, she started the happier work of picking out a new hamster. Her face lit up when she considered the candidates. She chose a big, gentle, red-haired guy and named him St. Patrick. We signed the papers and brought him home.

Picking out Patrick

He has his own wing of the laundry room, where he is secluded from some of the noise of the house and the cat...and where it's always nice and cozy warm. (The pet store guy speculated that Mars may have become over-stressed with lots of action and noise all around him...which was certainly the case at our house over the holiday.) So far so good. Grace loves him so much. 

As a side note, when we got him home, Mike teasingly asked Grace which hamster she loved more, Mars or Patrick. She gave him a disgusted look and said, "That's like asking which of your children you love more!" Mike, with his quick wit, jumped on that, "Go ahead, ask me which child I love the most." 

Grace: "Who do you love the most?"
Mike: "Tillman." 

Tillman, who was sitting there at the counter, minding his own business, eating a bowl of cereal, totally removed from the conversation, almost choked on his food, and Grace and I doubled over, as we all burst into histerical laughter. ha ha ha ha

Touche' Mike! 

As usual, perfect comedic timing. 

(In case you are worried that our kids' psyches have been damaged, Mike afterward assured Grace and Tillman that he has no favorites.) 

* We had a birth in the family! Mike's younger brother and his wife welcomed their first child. He came a few months early and will have to stay at the hospital for a while to get stronger. But he looks like he is doing better every day. I know it has been a scary beginning for Gary and Val. We wish we could be closer and do more. We love them. And we LOVE, LOVE baby Paxon. Can't wait to meet him in person.

Grandma Jacque and her newest grandbaby. This just makes me smile.

* Speaking of birthdays...Tillman marked a decade here on earth. Wow. Can you believe that?

It was a really busy day (school, piano lessons, pack meeting), but we broke away so we could come home and celebrate. Happy birthday Tillman! I am forever grateful that you came to us when you did. I love you!

With his standard cherry pie instead of cake.

That about covers things for our household for the past few weeks. 

I hope it's been a good start to the new year for all of you!