G in the Race

"G - Race". That is the name my bro-in-law, Derek, gave her when she was still a squashy toddler. I love it.

Since she was little we knew that Grace was one-of-a-kind. And apparently, she learns differently too. Which has made keeping up with her peers harder and harder. And more stressful.

Yesterday Mike and I met with her teacher, the Special Education Director, a Special Ed. instructor and the Director at our school for 2 hours. Grace has been working her way through a large battery of tests over the last month or so to determine what if any special accommodations need to be made to help her learn.

If you know us well, you'll know that scho0l has always been a struggle for Grace. I knew something was a little different when I started trying to teach her the alphabet when she was 4 - and she could NOT retain any of it. Nothing. For a LONG time. It was beyond frustrating. I wondered then if we were dealing with some kind of disability. But she eventually learned to read, thanks to patient and knowledgeable teachers. She's managed in math by developing strategies like tapping her fingers at high speed - she's like a little abacus. But last year - her struggles became more pronounced relative to other kids her age. We were spending hours at night tearfully slogging through simple math - and don't get me started about grammar. I knew that she could not continue this way. She had been putting up a brave fight for 3-4 years.

All along we have worked with her teachers and instructors, regularly asking the question, "Should we be thinking about testing her for a learning disability?" The answer was always that she was not really outside the statistically normal range for her age...until this year. For the first time - she could NOT keep up... no matter how hard she worked. 

Her teacher explained that 4th grade is a normal threshold for identifying disabilities because after about 8 years old children's brains undergo fundamental changes. The ability to think in abstraction increases. So - those children with different brains tend to stand out more. When her teacher told us he was recommending her for testing I was SO relieved. Maybe we would finally have some answers. I had long-since worked past any misgivings about the term "Special Ed." ---- ALL I wanted was for her to get what SHE needs. The whole thing was confounding for me. I know she's smart. She's just different - somehow? 

So last night we discussed the results. I was a little nervous all day ahead of the meeting. What if the tests showed there was nothing wrong? What would we do then? What if the tests showed that she needed to see a doctor and recommended medication (that would be tough- I have a fundamental aversion there)? We found to our surprise that she is a little ABOVE average in many areas - but that her long-term recall is quite low - and effects her in many ways: writing, math, series, memorization, etc.  She was also tested for social and behavioral abnormalities- which showed there were some issues - mostly stemming from the fact that she has been figuratively hitting her head against a wall for the past 4 years, trying to succeed. She qualified for some modification in the ways she is taught and tested. Thank goodness.

 Everyone needs a little boost once in a while.

I told the group of teachers and specialists at the end of our meeting last night that I am so GRATEFUL. Grateful that we live in a time when there is so much knowledge to help our kids. Grateful that we are at a school where they know my daughter so well - from the Director down to instructors - and that they are proactive in advocating for her. Grateful. 

We're hoping that now we can put an end to the anxiety. That this is the beginning of better days for Grace in the race of life. But I wouldn't take the last 4 years away from her. You would be amazed at how strong and determined she has grown. Struggle does that. I admire her.