Weeks like this

Some of you may be aware of the awesome week we had last week. Less sarcastically, ;we got a little overwhelmed by life.

1.With too much (stressful stuff) on the calendar 
2. A mountain of dirt to contend with 

3. A heat wave (and the accompanying hit to the bank account)

4. Sick little dudes

Michael said, "First World problems." I know. But still.

A brief explanation:
Last Wednesday everything hit the fan on the same day.  If it weren't for my wonderful in-laws who literally showed up at my door step at the precise moment I was desperate for help, I don't know what I would have done. (My own parents were in the Uintas during the week...I had to keep reminding myself every time I had the urge to call my mother.) With the AC guy working on our fried compressor unit outside, the neighbor dumping trailer-loads of dirt on our driveway, the baby sick, Mike at work till 10 PM and me needing to be at the church activity I had organized that evening - we were short-staffed, so to speak. Very short staffed. I tossed my check book to my father-in-law, and turned my children over to my mother-in-law who cooked them dinner in an 85 degree house. (Saints.)
When I returned home, exhausted, a few hours later I found my neighbor and father-in-law shoveling/dumping more dirt on the driveway and my mother-in-law walking the sick/teething baby in the stroller down the sidewalk. The verdict on the AC was that it had breathed it's last. We wrapped things up for the night, I hugged Mike's parents as they left - and I went in the house and cried. And when Mike got home I cried some more. Because I was exhausted, the baby was still sick, there was a giant mountain of dirt & boulders on the driveway waiting to somehow be moved into our canyon of a backyard, the house was hot & would remain hot for 6 more days until they could fit our install into their schedule. And of course, that new system was going to put us out A LOT of otherwise allocated cash. OUCH.

Anyway, we've spent a lot of time in the basement this week, or away from home - keeping cool.

Walking around Silver Lake at Brighton

Staying on the shady side of the house - much cooler than inside.

Outing to the Planetarium

Splash pad and snow cones at Gateway while we waited for Mike at his office.

And, somehow things work out. I learned some new lessons. I actually had some instructive dreams this week (isn't that weird?) that helped me work through a few things, and come to a better frame of mind.

We went to the funeral of Mike's Mission President Monday. And that was also good for my perspective. It made me want to be better. More full of LOVE. Not so focused on just this life. Because the reasons we are really here are so much bigger. I want to live that kind of FULL life. Full of love for others, full of service, full of simplicity, forgetting myself to find myself. Then, I think, a week like last week would seem like a small challenge filled with many opportunities for good.

Life is about GROWING.

It's Wednesday again.
The AC guys came yesterday. I wanted to run out and give them all high-fives. I was so excited to see them. (Monday had been a scorcher.) By about 2 o'clock we had a fancy new AC unit outside and cold air flowing from our vents again. The dirt and boulders are still there - but another group project day is in the works for the near future. The baby is almost totally over his cold. Also, Jessie's dented cheek checked out with the plastic surgeon yesterday. He said it might always be slightly more flat, but otherwise ok. He gave his guarantee this way: "If she can't get a date to Senior Prom, give me a call." All is well. Or will be.
What a difference a week makes.

Remembering

Today we were watching some old family videos. In the mix were several Christmases at Mike's parents' house from a decade and more ago, and other family gatherings. It was strange to watch ourselves so much younger, to remember what was going on at the time: becoming first time parents, beginning life. But the thing that pulled me in most was seeing Mike's grandparents - there in the moment with us on the TV screen. Both sets. It was astonishing somehow to watch them moving around, laughing, talking, snuggling the babies. Remembering how it used to be.

Time passes. The cycle goes on. Now we've said goodbye to all but one grandparent.

Watching those family videos reminded me that though we feel that we are standing on solid ground, it moves and shifts. We don't step in the same river twice.

Thursday we had grandma Helen's funeral. Then drove to Holden to the cemetery. 

How is it that funerals are such amazing family reunions? We saw all of Mike's brothers, cousins, their children, grandma's nieces and nephews, Alma's (her second husband) family...friends. Love. 

It's been a tender week.

(The only photos from the day are from my iPad. Sorry. I forgot my camera.)

 The brothers Melton. I love these boys.

 The Melton cousins (except for one who couldn't make it to the cemetery).
I love this picture for two reasons: 1.) How often (if ever) are they all together in one place?  2.) The setting. The cemetery at Holden where their grandparents (Helen and Tillman) are resting near by. But also where two other cousins, who passed away at birth, are buried. In fact, this photo is taken right next to those two little cousins' graves. It makes me tear up.

Mike's cousin, Bryant, had copies of this picture for all of us. Tillman and Helen.

The world has lost a LADY.

Mike's sweet Grandma left us this week.

Her time came on Friday night. She had fallen and broken a hip Tuesday. But no one expected her to go so soon after. Mike was able to stop to see her a few times on what turned out to be her last day. Precious time with her.

She is so beloved. The thing I most admired about her is that she was always so THRILLED (her word) to be alive and to be with people. How rare is that? SO positive. SO pleasant. SO grateful...even when her body and mind were uncooperative. Her children and grandchildren and everyone who ever knew her will always revere her. How could they not? What a girl. Can't wait to see her again.

Mike's brother, Jim, wrote the obituary below...

Helen Jessie Johnson Melton Peterson

| Visit Guest Book

4/5/1918 ~ 6/1/2012
Sunny and elegant Helen J. Peterson died Friday, June 1, 2012, of causes incident to age. She was born April 5, 1918 in Delta, Utah, to Abner Johnson and Laura Huntsman Johnson and raised on a farm in west Millard County. Her loving family rallied together at the time of her father's death in 1928 and maintained strong relationships with each other throughout their lives.
A cheerleader and senior class vice-president at Delta High School, Helen later worked as a telephone operator in Delta and as a hairdresser in Los Angeles after graduating from Filbin Beauty College and passing the California state board. On a visit home, she met her future husband, Tillman K. Melton, of Dothan, Alabama, an officer assigned to the Antelope Springs, Utah camp of the Civilian Conservation Corps. Helen and Tillman were married June 15, 1940 in Salt Lake City. Called to active duty with the US Army Air Corps during World War II, the couple lived in Orlando, Florida, and Columbus, Ohio before settling in Montebello, California in 1945, where they raised three children. Following Tillman's death in 1972, Helen continued to lead an active life, spending time with siblings, children, grandchildren, and friends and concluded her employment at Pillsbury Company, where she retired in the late 1970s. She later moved to Utah, where in 1985 she married a childhood friend, Alma Peterson, to whom she was married for 20 years until his death. Helen served in a variety of LDS church callings in the Relief Society, Young Women's, and Primary organizations and as an inner-city couple missionary.
Always cheerful and kind, even until her last moments, Helen was loved and admired by a large family and many close friends. She is survived by her children Brenda (Fred) Myler, Nyleen (Ladd) Livingston, and Howard (Jacque) Melton; 14 grandchildren, 12 living, and 37 great-grandchildren, 36 living; Alma's children Richard G. (JoAnn) Peterson, Caroline Gibson, and Diane (Rich) Stewart; sister-in-law Utahna Lytle and brothers-in-law Boyd (Maureen) Nelson and LeVee Peterson. A viewing will be held Wednesday, Jun. 6, 6:30-8:00 pm, at Broomhead Funeral Home, 12600 S. 2200 W., Riverton. The funeral will be Thursday, Jun. 7 at 10:30am in the LDS Chapel at 12950 S. 1300 W., Riverton, where friends may call beginning at 9:30 am. Interment: Holden Utah Cemetery.
Many thanks to the staff at Legacy House South Jordan, Rocky Mountain Rehab, Sandy Health and Rehab, and particularly to Alex Whitt and his staff at Beehive Homes of Lehi, where Helen spent the last seven months of her life, for their compassionate attention to her needs. www.broomheadfuneralhome.com

Published in Deseret News on June 3, 2012      

                

Grace = 10!

It is hard to believe that she is 10. 

It was a special day for her: I took her a special lunch at school. Jessie (still convalescing from her accident) surprised Grace with a birthday present treasure hunt disguised as her daily chore list - whenever she went to do a job on the list she found another birthday present to unwrap! Grace and I made time to go shopping mano-y-mano. She loves to shop and she loves clothes...so that was fun. Mike's mom made a birthday dinner for Grace. And to top it off, pulled out the doll cake form to make this birthday cake for her...

Jacque has occasionally whipped one of these up over the years for girls in the family and Grace loved it! 

 But I actually think Sully loved it MORE. ^ check out his face in this picture. He was very cute going on and on about the doll cake. So, good work Jacque! You succeeded in delighting more than one grandchild. :) (Also, the fashion design light table is a BIG hit! Thank you!)

                                                                                                  (Look close: Jessie's evolving bruises^)

Grace, we love you!

If you tangle with a horse...

...he will always win.

Monday evening we dropped Jessie off with my parents for 4H practice, and then drove to meet Mike's parents at a restaurant for his dad's birthday dinner. Just as our food was arriving we got a phone call from my mom asking us to meet them at the hospital in Riverton, Jessie was hurt. My adrenalin rising -  I tried to get some quick answers, "What happened?!" She said something about the horse trailer...and then passed the phone to my dad. I asked again, "What happened?"  His reply was, "I don't know." My panic level rose much higher. I needed someone to cut to the chase and tell me if she was bleeding, broken, unconscious, dying...............(without information your brain starts to prepare for the worst). Finally I learned that she'd been hit in the head (one of my worst case scenarios), not sure if any bones were broken, she was conscious but very confused. 

Mike's parents stayed with the other kids, we took Abner and drove as fast as we could to the hospital. When we walked into the examination room at the ER, my dad, mom and a family friend were standing there with the doctor. Jessie's face was swollen up giant on one side. She was awake, and looked like a deer in the headlights. I could tell she was having a hard time processing. 

This was what everyone had pieced together - 

She was in the trailer unloading her horse at the arena, the trailer started to jostle around, banging on the inside (not unusual when you're moving horses in and out), then they heard her crying. Her friend ran into the trailer and found her just laying there semi-conscious, a good distance from the horse. Her friend started to yell Jessie's name, & my dad came running. The horse was still tied up, standing there calmly. No one thinks that the horse kicked her in the face because the wound would be uglier and the damage worse. So every one's best guess is that she opened the divider panel next to the horse and then, lurching up or to the side, he either hit her face with his head or knocked her head into the trailer. Also her right hip was super sore - so we don't know if he stepped on her somehow or managed a glancing kick on her thigh. ???

At first in the hospital she kept her composure, even in her disoriented state. She has an instinct for that. She doesn't like people to see her cry or to worry about her. When the nurse asked her about her pain scale -Jessie politely said that she was OK - maybe a 3 on a scale of 1-10. I could tell she was masking it.  As soon as my parents, our friend and the nurse left she started to cry - and kept asking why her head hurt so much. And why couldn't she think? I went out and talked to the nurses and asked them to bring something stronger for the pain and then went in and started answering the same questions over and over. She was like Dorey on Finding Nemo. She could not remember anything from one moment to the next. So the next few hours sounded like this:

Jessie (looks at me in sudden panic) - "Mom, my cheek hurts so bad! What happened?"

Me: "The horse knocked you into the horse trailer. You're having a hard time thinking right now. Try to relax."

Jessie: "What day is it?"

Me: "Monday."

Jessie: "How long ago?"

Me: "A few hours"

Jessie: "What happened?"

Me: (the same answer as above)

Jessie: "Did he kick me?"

Jessie: "Why does my cheek hurt?"

Jessie: "Why am I here?"

Over

and

over 

and 

over.

Talking to someone with a concussion is a weird Twilight Zone experience. At first you try to give complete answers, to reason with them normally. Then you learn to just give them super simplified answers that won't make them think much - anything to quiet them.

Before my dad left he and Mike gave Jessie a blessing. I was grateful for that.

The usual neurological tests looked good. Then they gave her a CT scan, to check for bleeding in her brain, and skull damage. Her brain was fine. They also determined that her jaw was not broken. (I thought for sure she had a broken jaw.) But her cheek bone was broken - a  fracture that hadn't collapsed in, and hopefully won't need reconstructive surgery. We will see a plastic surgeon in a few weeks. They x-ray'd her hips and legs as well just before we checked out to make sure nothing was broken - since she couldn't give them any information about why her hip might hurt. No breaks. 

All things considered, she came out about as lucky as she could have. We felt pretty blessed. We woke her up twice during the night that first night at the doctor's suggestion to check her concussion. (One funny thing about that....The second time we woke her up to check on her we asked her to name her brothers. She said, "Noble...T...Tyler...Jarrett...Trevor." Those last three are from a family down the street. Mike and I almost laughed out loud.)  Her memory has been improving - and she was able to hold onto information yesterday - and carry on conversation. She's sleepy a lot. The doctor said no risky activity for the next several weeks - where she might possibly bump her head again. So no riding for at least two weeks. She is bummed about that. She's actually not afraid at all to get around the horses again. She kept telling me that she's glad she can't remember what happened because she's not afraid. The adults in this story are a little more hesitant. My dad feels horrible. Mike and I feel like we dodged a bullet. And I'm sure everyone is a little scared to have her get in there with those horses again - no matter how much we reason that what happened was a fluke.

She's had lots of visitors, flowers, treats, cards. She was a little tired from all of the entertaining of visitors. Because, like I said before, she always wants to put on a good face (what a terrible pun in this scenario). 

Yesterday ^

...

This morning 

Her cheek swelling is coming down a little - but her black eye is getting worse.

I called her school - and they basically said they will wave any missed work through the end of the year - with concussions they don't push it. She says it does make her head hurt to read - something the doctor warned us about. So...looks like she's going to get off for the last few weeks of school.
(The other kids are so jealous - even though I keep telling them it's NOT worth it.)

So - this was our miracle of the week. Our baby girl is going to recover. 

Sunday action / inaction

A laid-back Sunday at the end of one crazy week 

(more on that later).

Getting a look at the solar eclipse with the neighbors.

Mike catching some Z's wherever he can.

Ahhh Sundays.

Many Hands

Like an old fashioned barn-raising, when we needed help the word went out and the cavalry came. Unlike a barn-raising this project involved large-scale demolition. This house has a long list of (as my bro-in-law, Bruce put it) "enhancements" from the previous owner that need undoing. First on our punch list was the tons (literally) of concrete in the backyard that the guy laid down to make a spot for his hot tub. In the process of creating his little backyard retreat, he excavated the fill from the footings of the house, and the dirt has actually eroded UNDERNEATH the footing in one spot (you can see it in the photo below).

Anyway, Mike and I have been scratching our heads on how to proceed for a while now. It's been hard to know where to begin because once you begin one thing it leads to another, and is complicated by this or that. As I described it to my family, our backyard is a project within a project...wrapped in a enigma.
My parents showed up early and my mom and dad dug right in (because my mom had a bee in her bonnet about this and once she decides something, get out of the way). I tried to hold them off for a little, until the young guns could arrive, because Mom still thinks she's 25, and I didn't want any back injuries.

My parents + Mike's dad + all of my siblings, save Sean (who's up in Logan)  + about 15 kids + my 87 year old grandma all pitched in for about 4 hours and we cleared our backyard of concrete.  They broke up and hauled away just under 6 TONS of rubble. (I have the receipts from the dump to prove it.) Thank goodness my brother Casey is a professional mason.That came in handy. Thank goodness my brother-in-law Bruce has excavated more dirt than all of us combined in all of his archaeological digs. He had some expertise. Thank goodness for that dumping trailer my dad owns.It sure made the disposal a heck of a lot easier. Thank goodness for strong backs and hands. Even my sweet grandma moved her share of rubble. I know now that with enough faith and people you can move a mountain with a few sledge hammers, pry bars and wheel barrows.

I'm not kidding you when I say that the kids worked the entire time along side us. There's just something about a good demolition project - like moths to flame. "Really!? You WANT us to break something?"

 Bruce taking it to the last chunk of concrete. Excellent form.

After all the excitement we fired up the grill and had a BBQ. We gathered all the grandchildren (sans Abner, the youngest, who was down for a nap) for a photo op. (As you can see we lured them in for the picture with Popsicles.)

When I looked at the clean slate in our backyard after everyone left I felt so amazed and blessed. There's no way we could have done it alone.

We felt the love.

Developing the cheerleader

I should be making lunches for the school kids, but I'm running on those year-end fumes, aka slacker-ville. Instead I'm messing around on the iPad. In my defense, I began this session by helping Grace research Dorothy Hanock for a school project. Keeping kids motivated these last couple of months before summer is hard work. Truth be told, I think we are almost always having to prod certain of them along in different ways. Today I had my 76th "ultimatum" conversation with Noble about his slacker-ness this year....after listening to his long list of sobby (I know that's not a real word, but you get what I mean) excuses. Blah blah blah blah. Our conversation usually ends in a variation of this exchange: Me: "Noble, I know you have some high expectations for yourself. You need to overcome these bad habits if you want to achieve them." Noble (emotional): "Will M.I.T. still let me in if I get a bad grade now in the 5th grade?" Me: "Well... (pause...I see I have the advantage, and I don't want to waste it) Noble, the habits you form now will follow you. In every aspect of your life. If you won't learn to work hard, that doesn't just change. It's up to you." Noble: (still emotional, now resolute) "OK. This is what I'm going to do...." and he procedes to lay out his plan for change... And then we find ourselves a week and a half later having another ultimatum talk. And he's discouraged. I have learned that a BIG part of being a parent is trying again and again and again with your kids - resisting the urge to escalate with time. If you get more frustrated each time, and louder, that's a recipe for failure. I mean at some point what are you going to do? Disinherit them? Of course not. Maybe in the process the child will learn the more general lesson that it's never too late to change, even if they fall down a bunch of times in the process. And also that I will love them forever. No matter what.

Flashback Friday

A couple of items today, taking me back in time...

#1. The news of the passing of MCA, of Beastie Boys fame. Mitch-darling will likely be firing up his collection this weekend in memorial.
#2.  My good friend from high school/college days, Tadd Truscott (the one and only), was featured on NPR's Science Friday (my favorite radio program!) today. He is a hydro-dynamics engineer at BYU these days. Very cool. Have a look:

The 4th Annual

(photo cred. - one of my race route volunteers at the 5k turn-around)

The latest NPA 5k/1 mile fundraiser came together beautifully. We had lovely weather, a good turn out despite the race being scaled back as we transition to a fall race (there will be 2 this year). Our display clock timing was, no-question, the BEST way to accommodate this kind of race. I love the simplicity! I love that the school owns its own clock so I don't have to hope for nice people to help out and donate timing every year. Quite a load off. The Health Department showed up again and made themselves a nuisance (did you know you have to have TWO CONJOINED WALLS to serve food? ?????  It's true. But I have decided that the Health Department does not operate with the same logic as you and I. I took a Food Handlers class once and I totally sat their thinking, "this guy is so OCD & phobic he needs psychiatric care. FOR REAL.")  One of the volunteers did a good job of making the young man from the H.D. feel important - and that goes a long way with people with jobs like that. Other than that - it was a breeze this year. So grateful.

Thanks to everyone who supported us in one way or another. We appreciate the love.

BTW- some race results for you: Noble finished his first ever 5k with an impressive 23:26 (he beat Mike) and Jessie 25:16.  Grace and T. ran on their own for the first time this year and gutted out some good times respectively.

Not too shabby.