Post Christmas Post

This has been a tender and memorable Christmas. Some good friends in our neighborhood lost their son to Duchenne Muscular Dystrophe last Sunday, 4 days before Christmas. This past month - as it became apparent that he would be passing soon, and especially this past week, there has been an outpouring of the spirit and fellowship in the neighborhood. We found out about his passing together as a ward when the Bishop stood up at the close of the Christmas choir program during sacrament meeting and announced that he'd just received the news. He then delivered a powerful testimony of the Savior, of Christmas and pronounced a blessing upon all of us. This experience has helped us to focus even more on the very real power of Christ's atonement and resurrection, and to follow Alma's direction "to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and...mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort." (Mosiah 18:8-9) In doing so, we have grown closer to each other and to the Savior. This is the miracle of Christmas. We have seen it in action this Christmas. I will never forget it.

We have also made some wonderful memories:

Making popcorn balls to give away (and eat!) with my Grandma Tiede 

(aka "the Popcorn Lady of Gila, New Mexico").

A miraculous evening out with the youth in our ward, buying sub-for-santa gifts for kids from the Angel Tree. Here we are with our group. (We had 5 other groups just like this one at different stores. Each of us buying for a different child.) I thought there was no way we could get all the things we had picked out within our budget, even though Brother Lassig admonished me to have faith. But when Devin the checker found out what we were doing he hooked us up with every discount in the book (and probably off the book). Like an episode of Extreme Couponing we watched in suspense as the total added up until he entered that final discount. 

We ended up 50 cents under budget, and a loud cheer erupted from check stand 9. Devin said it was the best thing that happened to him all day. I think it was probably the best thing that happened to all of us that day too. 

Doing some good in the world.

Making pomanders with Grandma Jacque. One of my favorite Christmas traditions!

 Christmas Eve dinner with most of the Melton clan (we so missed our Michigan Melton's!). 

Look how far little Paxon has come in just a year! What a miracle he is to us.

Watching Abner yawn his way through his preschool Christmas program.

A little video of the action. I love how Abner starts bellowing after Ms. Sandy's 2nd prompt to sing louder. In his defense, she only said louder, nothing about rhythm or articulation.

Rudolf from Angie Melton on Vimeo.

In the spirit of Christmas, I forgave Abner (after I had a little melt down) for doing this. 

2 days before Christmas (yes, that's sharpie -- and yes, Santa somehow overlooked this giant indiscretion -- among many that day).

Christmas morning magic.

This year I did something different. The kids would get 3 gifts each (besides something from Santa) representing the gold, frankincense and myrrh that the wise men brought to the Christ child. Gold would be a gift of wonder (something they wished for), frankincense - a gift of meaning, and myrrh - a gift of usefulness. This helped me to focus and simplify my gift-giving. It made the giving more personal and love-filled for me, as well as directing our thoughts back to the meaning of Christmas. I'm making this our new tradition.

(Somehow I missed getting a picture of Grace -- sorry Grace.)

 A quiet candlelight dinner on Christmas with our kids.

Christmas Day brought another gift of wonder for us (especially the kids): SNOW!!! It made everything so beautiful. There was a short time on Christmas when Mike and Jessie had taken the dog for a long walk, Abner had fallen asleep, and the other kids were quietly playing in the basement -- and I had the living room to myself, the Christmas tree, Christmas music softly playing, soup simmering in the kitchen and snow coming down out the window. I sat by myself on the sofa and just soaked up that perfect moment.

The next day we struck out with the Melton's for a short sledding excursion to the little hill by our old house...perfect for the little boys. Hot chocolate and conversation at our house after.

We spent a cold - but beautiful - night out at Temple Square with the Las Vegas Melton's and Grandpa Howard. It was so nice to spend this time with them.

Mike arranged for the brothers Melton (and Val and Pax and Grace and Grandpa) to go to a Jazz game together. Tim wore his John Stockton and Karl Malone socks.

Here is a clip from the Sullivan Christmas Eve nativity. To me, this is Christmas. I am so grateful for the gift of Christmas.

DSCN7210 from Angie Melton on Vimeo.

Change Keeps You on Your Toes

Hi again. It's a been a while.
As I lay in bed last night at the end of another busy day I thought about updating the blog, and then thought something like,"No rush --- no one's holding their breath waiting for our latest news." But then I thought, "If I don't write it down we won't remember these things. I need to update it." I will try to be better about keeping a record.

The past few weeks there's been a familiar change in the air. My locust tree out the front window has started to turn gold. It's a little taller than last year, like my kids (a LOT taller in Noble's case). With the change in the season this year have come a few other important changes.

Speaking of the change of the season...

We took a breakfast hike up Yellowfork. River loved it! (He loved it so much he got giardia  from the stream he was drinking from. No kidding. He spent 2 full days the next week throwing up and having diarrhea. The vet helped got him back on track... G.I. track. Now we know that a young puppy's stomach is considerably less resilient than older dogs. Live and learn. 

Sully enraptured by nature.  He kept yelling stuff like: "Nature is waiting! I feel the nature!! There's so much nature just waiting for us! Wow! Nature is getting so awesome!" 

Abner with his "mustache stick"

Big Change #1.
Four of our kids started at the new Montessori charter school near our home. Everyone has been over the moon about it. The method, the atmosphere, the new friends, the gourmet lunches...

Everyone, that is, but Tillman.

We didn't make the decision to change schools lightly. We had been involved with our old school for 10 years, but felt in the last few years that things were changing. When the option of enrolling at this Montessori school presented itself in the spring we thought a lot about it, prayed and felt right about it.

We knew it would be really different for all the kids. And we knew that Tillman is the one that has struggled the most with change in the past. When we moved to this house Tillman cried every day for weeks, and begged us to move back to our old house. Eventually he got over it.
Tillman is also a kid who likes to have every detail laid out. He wants to know exactly what to expect. So we knew it would be an adjustment for him. We just didn't understand how MUCH of an adjustment. A few days in he started to complain that it wasn't like his old school, that he didn't know the kids. (It didn't help that he and Grace and Sully had to miss the first day of school because they had strep.)  Day by day he escalated the situation. He went from whining about it after school, to crying in the bathroom at school, to calling home sick, to leaving school without telling anyone and walking the 2 miles home across Bangerter Highway.

That was a nightmare day for me. Luckily he wasn't hurt, luckily the police were not involved, luckily everyone was able to get in touch and I found him by chance before they were able to ,get a hold of me by phone (I would have freaked out). Lucky all around.

After asking him (in a very loud voice, I'll admit) what on earth had happened that would cause him to leave school like that (and hearing the same stuff: "it's different from my old school, I don't like it, I don't know the kids", etc.), I made it clear that that kind of stunt was COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Then I drove him back to school, had him apologize to the director and his teacher, and checked him back in for the rest of the day.

The thing with Tillman is, he has a stubborn streak sometimes, so this has been exhausting. He gets into a panic cycle and then there's no stopping him until he finds a way to reboot. He needs to change the way he thinks about it...but he is unwilling. He has let his anxiety grow beyond any reasonable response to the point of desperation. His siblings are totally confused by the whole thing. I've heard them shushing him in frustration when he starts to get anxious, afraid that he'll spoil everything for them in their new-found Shangri-la.

He insisted that if we let him switch to a classroom where he knew a couple of kids he would be fine. After a series of meetings with his long-suffering teacher, the director and the school counselor we agreed to change him to a different class (not the one he wanted), and made it clear that if he chose to switch classes he was responsible to make it work. He agreed, and chose the new classroom. At first it seemed to be the reset button he needed for his negative thought cycle. Since then it's been mostly better, but we've had a few tough days lately. So we will keep on working with him. I don't know that there's a magic approach that will make him want to change his attitude, but I sure hope he figures it out soon.
That kid. We have been learning a lot about him in the process. We are also learning a lot about agency.
That was a long story.

Big Change #2.
Jessie comes of age.

 Jessie started high school, got asked to Homecoming, turned 16 and got her driver's license all in less than a month (and our auto insurance doubled).  BIG changes.

Her friend from the neighborhood (son of Kris Kemp - for those of you who share my history) dressed up like Napoleon Dynamite, his little brother dressed up like Pedro - they pedaled over with Napoleon on the pegs to give Jessie a delicious pie and this drawing of Jessie. "There's a lot more where this came from if you'll go with me to Homecoming." And then rode away again. It was classic.

Her 16th birthday was magic. A few days before the big day one of her friends texted me and wanted to set up a surprise birthday party. I kept her occupied that day with a pedicure (her first!), and later that night Mike and I took her to dinner at India Palace while the invited guests arrived at the house and set up for the surprise. She claims she had no idea, but I'm not so sure.

On Sunday (her actual birthday) we thought we would just have a quiet family dinner and invited the grandparents over for cake after. Didn't turn out that way. Her good friend from next door filled her bedroom with balloons while we were at church and then brought over this DELUXE Captain America (Jessie's favorite super hero) cake. W-O-W! 

Earlier in the day we had been looking at old scrapbooks, and we were laughing about how when Jess was little every member of our families came to every birthday party (a consequence of being the oldest and only grandchild/niece for many years), and how that was definitely a thing of the past. When it came time for cake that evening however, along with both sets of grandparents, a steady stream of Sullivan family (all 5 of my siblings and their kids) filed through the door. They all happened to be over at Sullivan's before that and so they came to wish the birthday girl many happy returns. What fun!

Big Change #3.
Noble's big reveal.

Noble got his braces off last week. He was actually supposed to have gotten them off almost 2 weeks before that but some how we totally spaced the appointment. We have to be the first people in the history of braces to actually forget about the appointment where you get them OFF.  Unprecedented.
He can't stop smiling.

 Big Change #4.
Mike has a doppelganger!

Mike has River trained to sit, stay and come. Pretty good for a 10 week old. So far however, the potty training is largely unsuccessful, and he barks a lot, and has started something called puppy nipping (a  normal phase where a puppy tests his place in the pack by challenging everyone). We are working with him to nip it in the bud...more nipping. ha ha ha.
But the thing is, it scares the kids - and makes me frustrated. Why did we need a dog?
At least he's cute. Both of them.

A Book Review: Unbroken

Some of you may have heard about this one. I was hearing great things about it, so I added it to my kindle this past week. I could barely put it down for the 3 days it took me to read it. I stayed up until 2:00 this morning / last night finishing it, and decided I had to blog about it right away. I give it 5 stars. In fact, this may have become my new all-time favorite book.  I love stories of human triumph. This one is unsurpassed. In the same spirit as Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning (though in the form of an AMAZING story and less of an analysis), this book shows the depths of human endurance and the POWER of forgiveness and love. It's the story of an American Olympic distance runner, Louis Zamperini, who was easily on track to be the fastest miler in history up to that point, when the world descended into war. His journey and the horrors he and others experienced over the next several years is unbelievable. It's got just about everything: Running, the Olympics, Hitler (up close), air battles, a particularly beautiful "Joe vs. The Volcano" kind of  moment, angels, Japanese POW camps, Billy Graham, skateboarding... I won't spoil anything for you here, in case some of you wanted to read it. But I have to say that my admiration for "the greatest generation" and my own determination to live in gratitude and forgiveness have increased.
The author (of Seabiscuit fame) is an incredible story-teller. Fair warning: the descriptions of violence and degradation in the POW camps is graphic, and really tough to read. But the redemption of a human soul is so beautiful and inspiring I was brought to happy tears. This guy is one of my new heroes.

Life is beautiful

Louie Zamperini, who took up skateboarding in his 70's, here at 81

Making Our Way the Only Way We Know How...

Tagging along with dad one day on his commute

Life can be complicated. 

I started to post about the life-changing events of the past several months that have completely preoccupied us...and then I realized I was writing a book. And I thought, "They probably don't want to know all the details, and if they do they can call or message me for the extended version." 

Long story really short: For a while, Mike has felt prompted to make a really risky move with his employment, and recently a series of unfortunate events has been a POWERFUL (kind of frightening) motivation. 

The thing that makes this all so difficult to express is that it has not been just one big profound experience, but years of prayer and struggle, culminating these last few months in hundreds of mini-experiences, impressions, revelations, mercies, quiet kindnesses, prayers said in our behalf, mental and spiritual work, small steps of faith, and miracles. 

Let me just say this has been a watershed experience for us & we have gained a deeper understanding of many things... FAITH, patience, hope, persistence, courage, trust, the power of heaven ... you name it, all things we thought we had a good grasp on... It turns out we didn't know what we didn't know. That's life.

In the past several weeks doors have been miraculously opened & Mike is moving on in a new job. We aren't out of the woods yet, but we have watched in astonishment as the way has opened up before us. 

This is what I know: There IS a God in Heaven, and He is good. He is more aware of us and our needs than even we are. He knows what we lack in terms of character, faith and capacity for happiness (i.e., living in gratitude and communion with God), and He gives us each personally-suited opportunities to help us change. I know this more profoundly than ever. He knows my heart, and how it has changed. Miracles come after the trial of our faith, and He is the one who knows, not us, when the lesson is learned. I don't think I really understood what that meant before. Trials will always be a part of life, but I know more than ever that these experiences are a means for the Lord to, as David says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
-Psalm 139:23-24 

This has been an AMAZING experience. All of it. I can truthfully say that I am grateful for it all...because of what I have learned, because of the closeness I feel with God after all, because of how it has changed my family and my relationship with Mike, because it has made me happier. And that is what Father in Heaven is interested in: the realization of our potential and our complete happiness.

All is well.

...then Jessie said, "Mom, I really like being busy..."

...and I looked at her like she had two heads. Because her pleasant sense of busyness is made possible by my never-ending frenetic running. She said this during our conversation about whether she would be permitted to sign up for after school theater again. It went something like this:

Jess: "PLEASE, can  I sign up? Mrs. *** told me she was disappointed that I hadn't signed up. She has a part in mind for me."
Me: (blaming Mrs. *** for this) "Jess, we REALLY don't have time for anything else. We are way too busy already."
Jess: "I really like being busy. I don't know, it's just kind of exciting running from one thing to the next!"
Me: (now looking at her like she has two heads and NO CLUE)            **pause**
 "I'm the one who has to GET everyone to their stuff. You have no idea how hard that is, and keeping everything straight....yada, yada, yada." I went on to list all the things on her schedule alone: 4h, guitar lessons, volleyball, teaching horse riding lessons, school, YW, basketball...  

Unconvinced, she proposed a bargain &  I compromised. I agreed that if she could arrange a car pool, I would let her sign up for the twice-a-week rehearsals for 3 months + performances. What was I thinking? She, of course, found a carpool, but then I felt guilty that someone else was doing all the driving, so I felt obligated to offer to help drive. (I'm still hoping the lady won't ever need me to.) Add one more item to the schedule. On the up side, J. has been walking around the house singing show tunes, rehashing her try-out. And she is so excited about the production. (Good thing 4h and volleyball will be over soon.)

It reminded me of a story that I heard Marjorie Hinckley tell one time, about how one frantic day when their kids were young, she could not find their oldest son to do his chores. Hours later, he came strolling casually through the door and began telling her all about the magical afternoon he'd spent watching ants and basking in the cool shade of a tree, just enjoying himself. She resisted the urge to scold him for leaving her in a lurch, and neglecting his chores.

Many years later, when he came home from college, stressed about his demanding schedule and finals, etc. He reminisced about the carefree days of his childhood. Wistfully, he said something like, "Mom, we had the most wonderful childhood...." and described that magical day again to her. The way she told it, the first thought through her mind at that point was, "I'm glad you enjoyed it..." I couldn't help laughing to myself, remembering Marjorie Hinckley's story, and then thinking about how Jessie naively described  the 'fun' of being busy. I'm with you, Marjorie. ha ha ha.

You know, the point of her story though, was not necessarily to laugh about how oblivious our kids can be, (even though that is pretty funny sometimes). The main thing she expressed, was how glad she was that she had resisted scolding her son - and not ruined the memory of that day for him. She chose instead, in that moment, to reinforce her son's beautiful experience, and it had stayed with him and nourished him throughout his life.

There's a lesson for me in that story.

Broken digit.

I KNEW it.

I fell in the kitchen a week ago (that is a funny story - having to do with some new super cute shoes I was trying out), grasping for the bar stool as I went down. My iPad survived the impact thanks to the Hammerhead case, but as soon as I landed on my hands and knees the solid wood bar stool came down too, smashing my hand like no body's business. Holy smokes that hurt. I actually felt nauseous and faint as I got up cradling my hand. I laid down on the couch. It was just me and the little boys - so I asked Sully to go get the ice pack out of the freezer for me. The gashes looked nasty, and my middle finger was swelling up. I wondered if it was broken.  It didn't really hurt much after the initial impact - it felt kind of like I'd jammed it playing basketball or something. It was weak and tender. After 4 days of that, and talking to my dad who spooked me with his hook-finger story (his middle finger is permanently curled after he broke it in a similar way, waited too long to have it looked at, and the tendon subsequently shortened), I decided I should get an x-ray.
I went on Saturday. It took them FOREVER. But the Dr. finally pronounced it NOT broken. They also said they were sending it out to radiology to make sure. Today the Dr.'s office called me back to report that the radiologist looked at it and reversed the call on the field. It IS broken.
Anyway, I just have to keep it immobile for 3 weeks, taped to my ring finger.
And I am more careful walking.

Weeks like this

Some of you may be aware of the awesome week we had last week. Less sarcastically, ;we got a little overwhelmed by life.

1.With too much (stressful stuff) on the calendar 
2. A mountain of dirt to contend with 

3. A heat wave (and the accompanying hit to the bank account)

4. Sick little dudes

Michael said, "First World problems." I know. But still.

A brief explanation:
Last Wednesday everything hit the fan on the same day.  If it weren't for my wonderful in-laws who literally showed up at my door step at the precise moment I was desperate for help, I don't know what I would have done. (My own parents were in the Uintas during the week...I had to keep reminding myself every time I had the urge to call my mother.) With the AC guy working on our fried compressor unit outside, the neighbor dumping trailer-loads of dirt on our driveway, the baby sick, Mike at work till 10 PM and me needing to be at the church activity I had organized that evening - we were short-staffed, so to speak. Very short staffed. I tossed my check book to my father-in-law, and turned my children over to my mother-in-law who cooked them dinner in an 85 degree house. (Saints.)
When I returned home, exhausted, a few hours later I found my neighbor and father-in-law shoveling/dumping more dirt on the driveway and my mother-in-law walking the sick/teething baby in the stroller down the sidewalk. The verdict on the AC was that it had breathed it's last. We wrapped things up for the night, I hugged Mike's parents as they left - and I went in the house and cried. And when Mike got home I cried some more. Because I was exhausted, the baby was still sick, there was a giant mountain of dirt & boulders on the driveway waiting to somehow be moved into our canyon of a backyard, the house was hot & would remain hot for 6 more days until they could fit our install into their schedule. And of course, that new system was going to put us out A LOT of otherwise allocated cash. OUCH.

Anyway, we've spent a lot of time in the basement this week, or away from home - keeping cool.

Walking around Silver Lake at Brighton

Staying on the shady side of the house - much cooler than inside.

Outing to the Planetarium

Splash pad and snow cones at Gateway while we waited for Mike at his office.

And, somehow things work out. I learned some new lessons. I actually had some instructive dreams this week (isn't that weird?) that helped me work through a few things, and come to a better frame of mind.

We went to the funeral of Mike's Mission President Monday. And that was also good for my perspective. It made me want to be better. More full of LOVE. Not so focused on just this life. Because the reasons we are really here are so much bigger. I want to live that kind of FULL life. Full of love for others, full of service, full of simplicity, forgetting myself to find myself. Then, I think, a week like last week would seem like a small challenge filled with many opportunities for good.

Life is about GROWING.

It's Wednesday again.
The AC guys came yesterday. I wanted to run out and give them all high-fives. I was so excited to see them. (Monday had been a scorcher.) By about 2 o'clock we had a fancy new AC unit outside and cold air flowing from our vents again. The dirt and boulders are still there - but another group project day is in the works for the near future. The baby is almost totally over his cold. Also, Jessie's dented cheek checked out with the plastic surgeon yesterday. He said it might always be slightly more flat, but otherwise ok. He gave his guarantee this way: "If she can't get a date to Senior Prom, give me a call." All is well. Or will be.
What a difference a week makes.

Sully stops my heart

Sully - earlier today.

Today Sully r-u-n-n-o-f-t for the second time in his young life, nearly stopping my heart. I had gone to take Grace and a friend to tumbling, putting Jessie in charge, Sully was playing with a couple of neighbor girls outside. Apparently he decided he wanted to go with me & took off down the street after me.
Later when I got home Noble met me and explained that a distant neighbor had come to the door with Sully, after having retrieved him from a total stranger who stopped like a good Samaritan and picked him up as he made for the busy intersection at 10600th South (barefoot).

*groan* 

I had an emotional talk with him.
Thank you neighbor and thank you unknown lady who saved my child.
Thank you infinity.

In the Trenches: Wearing Clothes Past their Expiration

For a lot of people there is a certain stage of life (the haggered parent approaching mid-life) when other things become more important than fashion. And suddenly you find yourself wearing stuff like this around.

(I caught Mike in this yesterday.)

 When time and money have their limits and priorities have changed, sometimes keeping on the crest of the fashion wave & shopping for clothes (for yourself) comes in about 3rd to last on your list.
And so... I find myself getting most of my stuff hand-me-down from my sister and others who don't undervalue shopping like I do. I have a few circa 2000 items cycling through my repetoire and a pair of shoes approaching 10 years in my closet. I still wear them. I even still like them. That's saying something.

The point is: personal style is one of those concessions you make. One of the luxuries you shed when the needs of others compete for scarce resources. Not all people put fashion so far down on the list - and that's ok. There are different sacrifices people make. But the next time you see a frumpy girl walking past - be gentle. It might be me. (ha ha ha)

Things we've been learning

1. Sully has turned a corner in toileting.  I can't say that any of the books I checked out at the library were much help. If anything helped it was an episode of Super Nanny that I happened to see where she helped potty-train this 3 year old kid. Their issues were different, but the thing I took away was that my own attitude is key. Confidence as a parent is crucial (and NOT just in potty training). Kids, like sharks, sense fear (and frustration)...and they exploit it.

 *Poof*!  A more cooperative Sully.

We are %100 now - including night time. Of course, I've done this long enough to know that kids often revert after they've been consistent for a while - so I won't say we're totally out of the woods yet. But I kind of think that since he waited so long to begin - he might just have made a permanent transition. He requires no reminding. He just goes.
 
2. Noble as Puck. (He won't appreciate my sharing this particular clip because he runs into the tree at the end.)
 

Noble was Puck in the 5th Grade production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. He did not think to tell me when the performance would be until the night before...and even then couldn't tell me the time. He had to call from school the next day to tell me when to come. I'm glad I could go. It was dee-lightful. Sully somehow knew about Bottom and the donkey head (maybe he remembered when Jessie was in the same play 2 years ago?). And he kept asking, "Where's the donkey? Wh-wh-when's the donkey coming?" (he's got a cute little stutter right now). Anyway, WELL DONE, dude.
 

3. Mike - the Lego Robotics coach.

With everything else going on in our lives I worried about Mike taking on Noble's FLL team this year. Especially since technology isn't our strongest suit. He has learned a lot - and the kids are having tons-o-fun.

5. Abner is starting to try solid food. But I think he thinks it's gross. I am trying to cherish all the nursing time I have left with him...so I'm not in a hurry.

4. Sully's hobbies. A little bedtime reading. I found this on Sully's bed yesterday. Apparently, he's developing an interest in economics.

Down in the Mouth...and up again.

(I have no idea where that expression comes from...but it sounds about right.)

I've had a discouraging patch. You probably know what I mean...when the demands & stress of life feel so heavy you don't know how much longer you can keep it up. And you wonder about the meaning of it all, doubt yourself a lot. A general funk. Or, as I put it to Mike earlier this week, "Life is kind of kicking our butts, isn't it?"

HOWEVER. The cool thing about life is...if you just keep trying, after a while (sometimes a long while) somehow things look brighter, you get stronger, you get smarter, you get more fearless, you get more grateful. And then, AMAZINGLY - you are actually HAPPIER than before you had to struggle. (That is a dichotomy worth some thought.)

I went to the temple this week. I needed to. For the first time in months I had some real clarity. But then I went home and got all bogged-down again with life on earth - which included about 2 hours of sleep that night, and a gazillion demands the next day.
Luckily, I had a chance to go and be with some women in the neighborhood, eat and talk about the things we're grateful for. Listening to other people open up, talking about their own hurt and their own joy - it straightened me out.

Life is BEAUTIFUL.       All of it.
When your heart is soft and open.

Any Weather is Good Enough

I'm just going to get this post out of the way now. I have a little time and as long as I keep brooding about how things went down this morning, I might as well write about it.

Just to sum up - the school 5k this year threw us for almost every imaginable loop, from city permits & surprise health department inspections to a race course fiasco AND...

Snow.

This was the race site as we arrived this morning for set up. 

More concerning than the snow though, we discovered that on the 5k route the river had risen since our course inspection two nights ago, covering the trail with 8 inches of water at .5 miles in. We did an emergency re-route 45 minutes before start time (thank goodness Roy brought his bike and I had the GPS with me). We also found out (the hard way) that the little 1 mile "Fun Run" loop trail that we ran two years ago has been completely reconstructed. Two years ago we used a little loop trail around the fish pond as our fun run. I ran it as part of the Utah Marathon Relay a few years ago as well...so I thought I knew the course down there. Since I'm 7 months pregnant, I didn't run the course in preparation this year. Oh man, I wish I'd taken the time to walk it.

Apparently, since the last time I ran it trails, underpasses and bridges connecting nearby neighborhoods have been added and the landscape totally reworked. So I sent out our little herd of young children and parents with strollers down the trail with, "It's really easy. The trail just goes around a little fish pond, and you loop back. You can't get lost. Ready, set...GO." 18 minutes later NO ONE had finished - and I started to freak out a little. I sent my bro-in-law out on bike to find out what was happening. About that time we had a few runners come up the trail, and I was informed that a lot of people had gotten lost...some of the kids were up in a neighborhood, one kid was yelling for help (turns out that kid was Noble). My heart totally froze. I began to envision lost children, a fast river...you can imagine. I got a little panicked. I spoke with a few other parents who came past - and they made me a little less anxious - that most runners were on the right path by then. Several parents had followed the front-runners (all kids) to turn them around, Mike went back, my bro-in-law on bike collected the stragglers, and my brother, Casey, went back to guide the approaching 5k-ers (who were to finish along the same route) around the fish pond. Everyone made it in. No one got permanently lost, no police involvement, no angry mob of parents... But still, it makes me sick to think what might have happened. How can a tiny little thing like a 1Mile fun run go so terribly wrong? I have learned my lesson: NEVER ASSUME YOU KNOW THE RACE COURSE WITHOUT DOUBLE-CHECKING.

The funny thing is, in previous years I've actually lost sleep the night before worrying about logistics and details and what-ifs. This year I was feeling pretty confident, thinking this was our third year - on a familiar course - nothing to sweat. That will teach me. Later, before awards, I apologized for the mix-up, my co-organizer blamed it on the snow and the high water on the trail earlier that day - and all the chaos and confusion that caused at the last minute. Most (not all) people seemed to be cool about the mistake (as long as every one's kid had made it back in one piece...*shudder* It scares me to death.)

Other than that - and a few other dramatic moments - we had a very successful event. I was totally surprised at how many people turned up to run, even with the snow. We auctioned off a LOT of stuff. The Jimmer Fredette signed ball alone brought in over $700!

Mr. C. won the first annual pancake eating contest. Our timing guys pulled off their job without a hitch. (I don't think I could have coped with a timing failure on top of everything else. Thanks Elevated Racing.) 

Zeke turned up to show solidarity.

So - definitely a net success. But I would be good with less drama next time.

In other news, Jessie is competing in her first horse show of the season today. I'm going to go watch her now.

Life is good.

When you feel grateful. Grateful comes most intensely when you go through the rough patches in life. You have to be grateful to be happy. So......(and this is the funny part) if you correlate that (like a math problem) - life's difficulties can bring us to a place of greatest happiness, appreciation, and peace. Who would have guessed? Well actually, wise people like our parents know stuff like this. Also, President Monson spoke about this at LDS General Conference a few weeks ago. I needed to hear that.

It's kind of counter-intuitive how difficulties can sharpen to almost super-human levels your appreciating for simple joys, comforts, compassion, goodness...

Like, when a toddler climbs up on your head in the morning as you are trying to sleep. And you have to smile drowsily. Or when that toddler lays there softly singing jabbery 2-year-old songs. How cool is it when thoughtful neighbors think of you and share from their gardens - because they know you didn't have a chance to plant one yourself? Or when an old friend calls out of the blue to say hello. Children who put up with you - and forgive you. Or the sun rising in a fall sky. Today I saw a guy on a motorcycle drive by the Air National Guard and salute the flag as he passed - and I thought, "how cool".

Do we notice all the things around us that are right? Sometimes it takes struggling & suffering a little to refocus on what has been given and not on what is lacking. To feel really grateful and happy.

From Pres. Monson:

Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings.

This is a wonderful time to be on earth. While there is much that is wrong in the world today, there are many things that are right and good. There are marriages that make it, parents who love their children and sacrifice for them, friends who care about us and help us, teachers who teach. Our lives are blessed in countless ways.

We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that "gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."

:)

An episode (and the lesson) from the life of a 6th grader

What if you panic during recess football and throw the ball back to the quarterback because there's a mob chasing you down...and so everyone's disgusted and the next day you get demoted from running back to center? This is especially humiliating because you've spent the last few years cultivating an image as a college football super-fan. And your friend (who's never cared about football at all - but oozes athleticism) doesn't even try and yet she dominates all over the field.

Jess told me this painful story today. I felt for her. Everyone knows that feeling of being inadequate. (I totally wrote a song on my guitar about something like this in college. I should whip it out and sing it for her. No, that's not such a great idea.) She actually mulled over the idea of signing up for a flag-football league this fall...to get better, to save face.  - I had to smile.

Our girl.

I tried to reassure her that she is talented in SO many ways...that's hard to see when you only see the strengths in others and the flaws in yourself. We talked about how she could get better if she really wanted to - but in life you kind of have to prioritize what things you're going to commit time and effort to, and learn to accept the rest.

The more I parent...the longer I live... I think more about the criteria we use to judge ourselves and others.  We tell ourselves and others that we only matter if we have...... beauty, knowledge, style, talent, creativity, money, cleverness, image, recognition... 

You know what I mean?

"It is not good to make others feel as though they are deficient. Let us lift those around us." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

(Jessie, you are just right. We'll play a little practice football this weekend if you want.)   :)

When the Truth Hurts

Noble informed everyone this afternoon that I looked "lots older than Dad. He looks like he's in his 20's and she looks like she's in her 40's."

Nice.    

It's OK, Mike told him he was out of line (and made sure to kiss me once or twice extra as they left for their father/sons camp-out tonight). I told Mike that kids are expert at telling the naked truth. And that's OK. I mean that doesn't mean it's any less awkward when a 4-year-old Tillman called that guy in the Jiffy-Lube waiting room 'really fat' a few years back. When I quietly told him that was rude, he (just as loudly) replied, "But he IS fat!" I couldn't argue. But I still made him apologize.

Coming to terms with change can be tough. I've been thinking of that a lot lately. This week Mike's 92 year old grandma needed to be moved to an assisted living facility here in South Jordan. As she and I sat talking about things yesterday, I told her it takes a lot of courage to face life as it is, and adapt ourselves to it. Like after you have your first baby and life seems like it will NEVER be the same. And it's not - but you grow into it. I told her that when we moved to our new house Tillman spent weeks crying every night because he missed our old house and the way life was there. But our needs had changed....just like hers have. So we keep moving forward.

Over the past 8 years or so we've watched both sets of our parents lovingly care for their aging parents. I know it's been hard for them. That example has had a profound effect on us. Change and strength and love.

Grandma and the kids - taking it easy at her new place.

Don't Try to Live Your Life in One Day

It's not that our lives haven't been action-packed. It's just that none of it has seemed all that fun to write about OR I just haven't taken the time.

So in the way of a little catch-up:

Mike got a new(ish) truck. His old green truck finally proved itself "not worth it". So Mike threw in the towel bought this red Tacoma (or "Taco", as Mike informed me they are referred to in Tacoma circles). I'm just stoked that it has A/C. For all but about 6 months of our married lives Mike has driven without it, taking one for the team. (That kind of sacrifice has to count for something...) Here's his official new owner picture. I totally should have gotten one of him jumping, fist punching the air. (Remember those old Toyota commercials?)

Jessie's horse show (last weekend) was a fun two days. She did pretty well, but is frustrated at herself for making silly mistakes. She'll definitely make the county team this fall and there's an outside chance she'll go to state as well. Here she is on her new horse, Dolly, who was refusing to side-pass over that pole.

Jupiter the Space Donkey came to live with us permanently last week. We were a little worried. I'm not going lie to you, he wasn't considered the calmest, most problem-free dog in our old neighborhood. Something happened in the the month he spent on holiday at the Sullivans', or he really likes the extra room he has at the new house because he is a changed animal. Calm (no more leaping 10 feet in the air all day), relatively obedient...we actually keep hearing things like, "Your dog is so well-behaved." (ha ha ha. If they only knew.)

Then there is the never-ending punch list of projects around this place that we're working on. I could bore you to tears with it - so I'll stick to a few of the highlights.

The new playroom. We got rid of about a gazillion toys, invested in some Trofast. There are a few play things in the cubby/playhouse under the stairs, and the Legos still live in the boys room (we're working up a great Lego table for them - from the IKEA as-is section) - So this is the uncluttered result:

The garden plot gets a start (I can't wait to see it next year.) There's a rock the size of K2 behind the tiller here. I started digging out this smallish rock, then we realized we were going to need a crow bar, then we realized we were going to need a tractor. I'm serious, we haven't found the bottom yet. I guess it was left over from the last ice age glacier that moved through. Huge granite monolith.

There are other victories that I won't bore you with. But bit by bit, things are coming together. This morning as I was shoveling horse manure into the garden in the blazing heat, thinking about the 10,000 projects (some of them big & $$$), I thought, "What have we gotten ourselves into with this house?" But then, I remembered, this is what I wanted. A place we could create with our kids, teach them to work, learning and growing. By nature, I'm sort of an impatient person - so it's discouraging to see such a long road ahead of us. But that's something else I'm going to learn. And, as if to nudge me in that direction, we're speaking in church on Sunday.

My topic: Don't Be in a Hurry.