Meeting Up and Skipping Town

Last Saturday night Mike and I got together for dinner with this bunch. Good friends from high school days. Out of all the people in this photo, only 4 did not go to school with us. I sure love these guys. We laughed until we cried.

Mike had a weekend get away - just the two of us - to Bryce Canyon planned for my birthday. It's been a challenging week here at our house - and we almost didn't end up going. So glad we did. We stopped on our way south and spent time in the Payson Temple, getting some peace and clarity. Bryce was stunning this time of year with the melting snow, contrasting with the orange hoodoos. We enjoyed a couple of days with time to talk, be together and soak up the beauty all around  - it was so perfect. Thanks Mike!

Also, this trip was a big milestone for our family; the first time we have left our children overnight on their own (sort of - I had my sisters check in on them). The kids did an amazing job! Not only was the house still standing, but they had done their jobs, taken care of the animals, and managed to get along...all without Mom and Dad there to prod them along! We have great kids.

Halloween in the Valley of the Shadow of Death

About a week after we got back from our trip Mike contracted the plague. It turned out to be a case of strep on top of a some nasty virus that sent stabbing pain through his stomach and chest intermittently (especially if he tried to eat). So even after we managed to beat back the strep with antibiotics, he was still totally incapacitated for another week. He went days without eating. I started to get worried. I wondered if I should take him to the hospital because he just wasn't eating at all.

He couldn't eat my homemade chicken soup (too thick), no toast, no mashed potatoes, no shakes...(but he did try a little homemade egg nog that I made him at Mom's suggestion). He got to where he could eat the mostly broth canned chicken soup, and even though he rolled his eyes when I brought home the kind of supplemental geriatric shake that is designed to help sick old people gain weight (he kept calling it weight gainer), I knew at least he was getting some calories and nutrients. 

He survived on these two things, plus saltine crackers for 3-4 days. 

He dropped 12 pounds before he turned a corner and came back (little by little) to the land of the living.  The first day he was able to go back to work (he missed about 4 days - on top of our week in Nauvoo - ouch) he called me and announced gratefully that he felt like he was at 50%. He's still a little weak. This has sure made him grateful for his health (and me too!).

Because Mike was so sick he mostly missed out on all the Halloween festivities: the Ward Trunk or Treat, pumpkin carving, the family Halloween party, and Halloween trick or treating. He also had to cancel our planned family trip to Goblin Valley right before Halloween (I was so relieved - I was not looking forward to cramming that into an already super busy week and month).

Carving our pumpkins

Ward Trunk or Treat - the best costumes of the night - Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan (Jess and friend)

Family Halloween Party - Minnie Mouse and Day of the Dead girl

Noble with Baby Maven

Neighbor friends ready to Trick or Treat!

So grateful for neighbors who took our little boys Trick or Treating because they knew Mike was out of commission and I needed to be at the helm with the candy bucket.

Everyday

I take more pictures these days with my phone than with our camera, which is too bad because the photos are not the best quality. But then again, it means that I get more candid moments because the phone is more handy. Here are a few from my phone over the past week or two. Images that tell the story of our life.

The most handsome man in the world lives here.

 #6 had an accident with the kitchen stool one day last week. He fell and hit his ear on the corner of the stool back. He kept waking up after he went to bed that night crying that his ear hurt; I worried that maybe he'd done some internal damage. I asked Mike to give him a blessing and called my dad at 10:30 to come and help (thank you Dad!). I am so grateful for the priesthood. This is Abner after the blessing. All is well. The next day he had no complaints.

 On Friday Tillman had a few school friends come over to "work on a project". Tillman had offered no further information when he asked if his friends could come over so I assumed it would be pretty straight forward and simple - maybe some research, writing, maybe putting together some kind of simple presentation. I learned my lesson: always ask for more information. Turns out it was a bit more elaborate. After dropping them off after school with Noble in charge, I ran to do some quick shopping for dinner. When I walked in the door they met me with their demands: a circuit board, wires, a power source and something to build an electric vehicle with. I stood there for a minute completely confused. What? What kind of project was this? They (in their cryptic 5th grade speak) explained that they had to build something that would move on its own using electricity. I asked if there were any official printed instructions I could look at because the stuff they were telling me made no sense. It seemed pretty complicated. 

Plus, it was due Monday, so his was their only shot at it. And we had like an hour. I drew a blank. 

Noble had been home from school that day incapacitated by a pinched nerve in his shoulder.  As I listened to Tillman and company I became more confused by the second, and I was in the middle of about 20 other things demanding my attention that afternoon. The surprise arrival of this crisis definitely threw me off my groove. Luckily I had Noble.  In desperation I looked to him and asked what we should do. Oh how I love, LOVE this engineering son of mine! Together we were finally able to get clarification about Tillman's project. Noble determined that we needed a small 1.5 v motor that he found on Hobby Lobby's website for less than $4 and a battery pack. And we decided that the vehicle could be constructed out of Legos. So the 5th graders and I ran to Hobby Lobby while Noble searched for gears and components in the Legos. Then he helped (*did most of the work*) put it together and tweaked the design till it functioned. I told Tillman that he had to give some credit to Noble in their presentation.

Noble is AWESOME in a crisis. He's like the Melton version of MacGyver. 

Post Script: Noble visited the Chiropractor the next morning for some intensive therapy for his pinched nerve. He can more-or-less stand up straight now. Notice his kinked posture in the picture. He definitely earned some respect by diligently stepping up that day when he could barely even move. Fist bumps.

Change Keeps You on Your Toes

Hi again. It's a been a while.
As I lay in bed last night at the end of another busy day I thought about updating the blog, and then thought something like,"No rush --- no one's holding their breath waiting for our latest news." But then I thought, "If I don't write it down we won't remember these things. I need to update it." I will try to be better about keeping a record.

The past few weeks there's been a familiar change in the air. My locust tree out the front window has started to turn gold. It's a little taller than last year, like my kids (a LOT taller in Noble's case). With the change in the season this year have come a few other important changes.

Speaking of the change of the season...

We took a breakfast hike up Yellowfork. River loved it! (He loved it so much he got giardia  from the stream he was drinking from. No kidding. He spent 2 full days the next week throwing up and having diarrhea. The vet helped got him back on track... G.I. track. Now we know that a young puppy's stomach is considerably less resilient than older dogs. Live and learn. 

Sully enraptured by nature.  He kept yelling stuff like: "Nature is waiting! I feel the nature!! There's so much nature just waiting for us! Wow! Nature is getting so awesome!" 

Abner with his "mustache stick"

Big Change #1.
Four of our kids started at the new Montessori charter school near our home. Everyone has been over the moon about it. The method, the atmosphere, the new friends, the gourmet lunches...

Everyone, that is, but Tillman.

We didn't make the decision to change schools lightly. We had been involved with our old school for 10 years, but felt in the last few years that things were changing. When the option of enrolling at this Montessori school presented itself in the spring we thought a lot about it, prayed and felt right about it.

We knew it would be really different for all the kids. And we knew that Tillman is the one that has struggled the most with change in the past. When we moved to this house Tillman cried every day for weeks, and begged us to move back to our old house. Eventually he got over it.
Tillman is also a kid who likes to have every detail laid out. He wants to know exactly what to expect. So we knew it would be an adjustment for him. We just didn't understand how MUCH of an adjustment. A few days in he started to complain that it wasn't like his old school, that he didn't know the kids. (It didn't help that he and Grace and Sully had to miss the first day of school because they had strep.)  Day by day he escalated the situation. He went from whining about it after school, to crying in the bathroom at school, to calling home sick, to leaving school without telling anyone and walking the 2 miles home across Bangerter Highway.

That was a nightmare day for me. Luckily he wasn't hurt, luckily the police were not involved, luckily everyone was able to get in touch and I found him by chance before they were able to ,get a hold of me by phone (I would have freaked out). Lucky all around.

After asking him (in a very loud voice, I'll admit) what on earth had happened that would cause him to leave school like that (and hearing the same stuff: "it's different from my old school, I don't like it, I don't know the kids", etc.), I made it clear that that kind of stunt was COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Then I drove him back to school, had him apologize to the director and his teacher, and checked him back in for the rest of the day.

The thing with Tillman is, he has a stubborn streak sometimes, so this has been exhausting. He gets into a panic cycle and then there's no stopping him until he finds a way to reboot. He needs to change the way he thinks about it...but he is unwilling. He has let his anxiety grow beyond any reasonable response to the point of desperation. His siblings are totally confused by the whole thing. I've heard them shushing him in frustration when he starts to get anxious, afraid that he'll spoil everything for them in their new-found Shangri-la.

He insisted that if we let him switch to a classroom where he knew a couple of kids he would be fine. After a series of meetings with his long-suffering teacher, the director and the school counselor we agreed to change him to a different class (not the one he wanted), and made it clear that if he chose to switch classes he was responsible to make it work. He agreed, and chose the new classroom. At first it seemed to be the reset button he needed for his negative thought cycle. Since then it's been mostly better, but we've had a few tough days lately. So we will keep on working with him. I don't know that there's a magic approach that will make him want to change his attitude, but I sure hope he figures it out soon.
That kid. We have been learning a lot about him in the process. We are also learning a lot about agency.
That was a long story.

Big Change #2.
Jessie comes of age.

 Jessie started high school, got asked to Homecoming, turned 16 and got her driver's license all in less than a month (and our auto insurance doubled).  BIG changes.

Her friend from the neighborhood (son of Kris Kemp - for those of you who share my history) dressed up like Napoleon Dynamite, his little brother dressed up like Pedro - they pedaled over with Napoleon on the pegs to give Jessie a delicious pie and this drawing of Jessie. "There's a lot more where this came from if you'll go with me to Homecoming." And then rode away again. It was classic.

Her 16th birthday was magic. A few days before the big day one of her friends texted me and wanted to set up a surprise birthday party. I kept her occupied that day with a pedicure (her first!), and later that night Mike and I took her to dinner at India Palace while the invited guests arrived at the house and set up for the surprise. She claims she had no idea, but I'm not so sure.

On Sunday (her actual birthday) we thought we would just have a quiet family dinner and invited the grandparents over for cake after. Didn't turn out that way. Her good friend from next door filled her bedroom with balloons while we were at church and then brought over this DELUXE Captain America (Jessie's favorite super hero) cake. W-O-W! 

Earlier in the day we had been looking at old scrapbooks, and we were laughing about how when Jess was little every member of our families came to every birthday party (a consequence of being the oldest and only grandchild/niece for many years), and how that was definitely a thing of the past. When it came time for cake that evening however, along with both sets of grandparents, a steady stream of Sullivan family (all 5 of my siblings and their kids) filed through the door. They all happened to be over at Sullivan's before that and so they came to wish the birthday girl many happy returns. What fun!

Big Change #3.
Noble's big reveal.

Noble got his braces off last week. He was actually supposed to have gotten them off almost 2 weeks before that but some how we totally spaced the appointment. We have to be the first people in the history of braces to actually forget about the appointment where you get them OFF.  Unprecedented.
He can't stop smiling.

 Big Change #4.
Mike has a doppelganger!

Mike has River trained to sit, stay and come. Pretty good for a 10 week old. So far however, the potty training is largely unsuccessful, and he barks a lot, and has started something called puppy nipping (a  normal phase where a puppy tests his place in the pack by challenging everyone). We are working with him to nip it in the bud...more nipping. ha ha ha.
But the thing is, it scares the kids - and makes me frustrated. Why did we need a dog?
At least he's cute. Both of them.

Come to Zion

The hamster wheel has been going full-tilt around here for a long time.

Mike has been occupied launching his newest role at work (yay!), teaching econ and doing his calling. The kids are busy, busy, busy of course.  But it's the span of emotionally draining issues (between toddlerhood and teenagedom, there are a lot and varied of those at this house) on top of everything else that have been taking their toll on me.

After Mike returned from being out of town for the second straight weekend, he hatched a brilliant plan to avert my complete emotional / psychological unraveling. He proposed that we take the next weekend for ourselves and go to Zion - just the two of us. He might as well have told me that all of my wildest dreams were about to come true. That's how much of a relief  it was for me to hear that.

We made arrangements with family to help watch the kids. Mike's parents and my sister, Kay, took over for us. We are really grateful to them. Mike's parents let us stay at their new house in St. George. So we got to enjoy first-class accommodations too. Thanks Jacque and Howard!

We set out Friday afternoon and got in about 8:00 PM. Too late to do a session at the temple like we'd planned, so we just went out to dinner instead at the Thai place Mike and his dad and brother had scoped out the weekend before when they moved the Melton's furniture to the new house.

The next morning we headed out for Zion. I think we managed to come on the most beautiful day of the year. Temperatures in the low 70's, clear blue skies, fall colors. It was unbelievably beautiful. I think a lot of other people got the same memo...because it was also really crowded. We we were packed into the shuttle  pretty tightly, but it was so lovely I don't think that anyone minded.

We did Angel's Landing first. Neither of us had ever been, and I was nervous. I hate shear cliffs. I am terrified of them actually. As the shuttle announcement repeatedly warned visitors about the hike, especially the part where they say, "There have been deaths on this trail. You are responsible for your own safety." I thought about skipping it. Mike reassured me, and off we went. The first few miles of the hike were just amazing. The views, the crisp morning air, the steep but safe trail on terra firma. The last half-mile, where the trail scrambles out onto the pinnacle I was at times almost paralyzed with fear.  I don't know how a person can look down on either side of them and see shear 3,000 foot drops and still be able to casually climb on. Believe me, I was hanging on to the anchored - chain that runs along that part of the trail for dear life. At some points we had to wait for hikers coming the other direction to squeeze past us. It was all I could do not to panic. I don't know why, but fear of heights is my Achilles heal. I had to talk myself through it. The worst part was that I was scared for every other person I saw. Especially the kids. While I was clinging to the chain, more than once a 10 year old kid would come trotting past me, and I would almost die worrying about them. Mike kept saying that he wanted to bring the older kids to hike it. I could NOT stand being up there with my kids. So there will probably be further discussion about that I am sure.

Mike got some pretty cool pictures along the Angels Landing trail (while I repeated compulsively, "Mike, put the camera away and hold on to the chain. Hold on to the chain right NOW." He was very patient with me).

After Angels Landing we visited the Emerald Pools. That is a cool little trail. On the way out we passed a bunch of wild turkeys along the river. Mike took some great pictures there too, but in trying to clear some old pictures off the card to make room he accidentally deleted all of our pictures from the morning. It was super disappointing to loose the pictures...Mike was especially bummed since he'd been behind  the camera working on taking great shots all morning. So there's no proof that I made it to the top of Angels Landing (which is probably best because the pictures would probably scare me to look at).


After some late lunch we went for a really short hike to Weeping Rock, a spring cascading over a wide rock overhang. It was pretty spectacular, especially in the setting sun.

Lunch at the Zion Lodge (Mike was still unhappy about accidentally deleting all the pictures from the morning)

Walking up to Weeping Rock. 

Looking out from under the overhang / spring

On the drive back to St. George we were treated to a sublime desert sunset. Mike stopped at the Orange Julius drive thru in Hurricane and we sipped away as we drove into the sunset and listening to Don Williams. 

Back at the house we cleaned up and drove to the temple for a session. Turns out it was a multi-stake regional conference that weekend...so pretty much every temple recommend-carrying adult within a hundred miles was at their Saturday evening session of conference. We almost had the temple all to ourselves. 

I felt so content the entire session. Relieved, like taking a drink of water when you're thirsty. I needed it.

After the temple we picked up some Cafe Rio, and went to the house to kick off our shoes, relax our tired muscles, and enjoy a quiet dinner. 

That day will go down in my memory as one of my perfect days.

The next morning, with everyone in the vicinity at Regional Conference meetings there was no place for us to go for church, so we took a walk around the neighborhood, and then headed north. First to Hurricane to visit my grandparents' graves, then to Holden to visit Mike's grandparents' graves. It was a peaceful Sabbath day.

We arrived home about 4:00. It would have been sooner, but about a mile away from home someone pulled along side us and pointed to our rear tire. We pulled off to look at it and found that it was almost completely flat. We put a little air in it at the nearest gas station and then went home, and Mike took it to have it repaired the next day (it actually had to be replaced). I feel super blessed that we drove 500 miles over the weekend without a problem until we were within walking distance of home. That was a tender mercy.

Sometimes you just NEED a break. I am so grateful that we got to go. Weekends without some major commitment for us are few and far between, so I am extra grateful that we took advantage of this one. it was important. Thanks again to everyone who helped us make it happen.       

15 years with Mike

7/11/1997

7/11/2012

15 years of highs and lows. More highs than lows. 

He is my very best friend. 

And I think he is even MORE handsome now than the day we got married.

This year we decided to DO something for our anniversary (usually we're lucky to even get out). So we planned a quick get away to Park City - the city of romance. (I don't know that it has that reputation in the broader population, but since that is where we spent our honeymoon as youngsters, that is what it is to us.) We had a hot tub on our balcony and a view of the Olympic Ski Jump. So, after dinner out with Mike, I commemorated the day by soakin' it up in a hot tub with my soul-mate (ala Uncle Rico).

 The next morning we went out for a lovely run, then french toast breakfast at Kneaders, shopping at the outlets, an hour and a half massage, and FREE SLURPEE's at the Sev in Park City. It's so nice of 7/11 to observe our anniversary like that every year. So if you didn't get your free Slurpee this time, there's always next year.

Mike's anniversary card to me this year:

He's romantic like that. Here's to 15 more years, and then 15 more, and after that - another 15...

I LOVE Mitch-darling.
I could not have chosen better. 

Remembering

Today we were watching some old family videos. In the mix were several Christmases at Mike's parents' house from a decade and more ago, and other family gatherings. It was strange to watch ourselves so much younger, to remember what was going on at the time: becoming first time parents, beginning life. But the thing that pulled me in most was seeing Mike's grandparents - there in the moment with us on the TV screen. Both sets. It was astonishing somehow to watch them moving around, laughing, talking, snuggling the babies. Remembering how it used to be.

Time passes. The cycle goes on. Now we've said goodbye to all but one grandparent.

Watching those family videos reminded me that though we feel that we are standing on solid ground, it moves and shifts. We don't step in the same river twice.

Thursday we had grandma Helen's funeral. Then drove to Holden to the cemetery. 

How is it that funerals are such amazing family reunions? We saw all of Mike's brothers, cousins, their children, grandma's nieces and nephews, Alma's (her second husband) family...friends. Love. 

It's been a tender week.

(The only photos from the day are from my iPad. Sorry. I forgot my camera.)

 The brothers Melton. I love these boys.

 The Melton cousins (except for one who couldn't make it to the cemetery).
I love this picture for two reasons: 1.) How often (if ever) are they all together in one place?  2.) The setting. The cemetery at Holden where their grandparents (Helen and Tillman) are resting near by. But also where two other cousins, who passed away at birth, are buried. In fact, this photo is taken right next to those two little cousins' graves. It makes me tear up.

Mike's cousin, Bryant, had copies of this picture for all of us. Tillman and Helen.

The Day We've All Been Waiting For

Introducing... Abner William Melton. He's here. He's awesome.

Our little baby arrived Wednesday, July 6 at about 8:30 PM. Once things really got rolling it went MUCH faster than we expected. Our midwife didn't have time to get there, and her back-up barely made it. Still, they were cool about making sure Mike got to "catch" the baby. Thanks going out to Paula and all the easy-going nurses at Riverton IHC (who put up with a good bit of teasing from Mike - and occasionally dished it back). Abner weighed in at 6 lbs. 14 oz., tying Tillman for light-weight of the family at birth. Since he's not very big, we decided that those 5 days past the due date were needed to finish off his coiffure. Which is pretty impressive.

Dr. Mike, Medicine Man - suiting up.

Just born.

His brothers and sisters are all SO excited. They have been troopers while I was in the hospital and have welcomed Abner completely. People always talk about jealousy between siblings when one is born. Honestly, I can say none of our kids has ever been that way. Sully is probably the most demonstrative. He is STOKED.

Here he is visiting baby brother Abner for the first time. Huge smile.

Some Visitor Highlights

Bookend siblings - Jessie and Abner

Noble found a few other things to work on...

Tillman & Abner - the jury is still out on Abner's eye color, but I think these two might look the most alike.

Mike was giving my Mom a hard time (she loves it when he teases her.)

Mike's mom and dad.

My little brother Sean drove down from Logan. Thanks Sean, we love you.

Lots of company: the Bachands, Grace, my grandma & Dad.

Great-Grandma Tiede - in town from NM.

Sully handing out kisses. Time to bring Abner home.

Thanks for making us "Mom & Dad" one more time Abner. We love you!

We're adjusting to life with this new person - and having a great time. 

WE FEEL SO BLESSED. 

We'll keep you posted.