Drops in the Bucket

Recently, Mike came across this blog post that someone had shared on FB or something and decided that I needed to hear it. (You should read it too.)

http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/

The author talks about how she tends (as do so many others, including me), to immediately undo every good deed with critical self-talk. This just happens to be one of my very worst vices. If you ask Mike, he might go so far as to call it an OCD neurosis with me. I have a hard time allowing myself to be completely happy.

This weekend I was feeling content and pleased and at peace with my life. I spent time at the temple on Friday with Mike...and enjoyed every minute. I felt the spirit so strongly all day yesterday...not always easy for me...
But then, for some reason today I found myself looking around and noticing that the neighbors' houses are finished so beautifully & comfortably, that a friend of mine has endless patience, offering to have my child come over for hours, and always finds ways to serve people in the neighborhood, other friends' kids practice their instruments willingly, other people have lots of friends that they get together with often, or manage their finances with precision...I could go on.

This is my point (and I am having a hard time making it clearly, because Sully woke Abner up and he is now screaming from his crib in the next room, and the dishes are piled in the sink, and ....you see what I mean?): when I allow my thoughts and self-talk to focus on my failings (past and present) the good I might do becomes just another thing to feel guilt about, because it comes mixed in with all my failings.

"Yes, I am doing this good thing, but who cares when I stunk at that other thing."
-or-
"Took you long enough to get around to THAT..."
-or-
"You might have managed 30 minutes of exercise today...like that's going to make a big difference."
etc.

I recognized myself in the words of that blog post as Mike read it aloud to me. "Wow, that's totally me!"

 I LOVED her point about changing our perspective. EVERY good choice, every selfless act, every small victory remains in the positive column of our eternal balance sheet no matter what we have in the negative column. And recognizing every seemingly insignificant  success gives us more power to do the next good thing.
I am telling you, one of Satan's most potent weapons is the one he uses to get us to discount the good that we do, so that we feel unworthy, that our efforts are futile and pathetic: "Why try? I can't measure up."

So, for the last few days Mike and I have been heard to say, "Drops of Awesome" to each other when we (I) might otherwise start listing caveats.

"We bathed the dog...only took us 5 months...(PAUSE) ...'drop of awesome'."

Jupiter in his "winter quarters" / dog palace. He gets to spend cold winter nights sleeping in his warm kitchen bed...now gated in with Grace's old fold-out doll castle.

"We ate super healthy today...after all the junk we've been eating for the past month....No wait, 'drop of awesome'."

"A hundred neighbor kids felt at home playing/eating dinner/being nurtured at our home today......but then I got maxed-out and overstimulated, sent kids home and banished our own kids for the rest of the night so I could recoup......'drop of awesome'."

Our entry-way  piled with all their shoes and coats, Saturday afternoon/evening.

"We spent some time in the morning snuggled up, reading to the little boys even though we had a million things on the to-do list...'drop of awesome'."

Of course we all need to be working to change the things that we fall short in, but, seriously, I think zeroing in on those things can magnify them beyond their actual importance. It can be a selfish and potential-sapping exercise. Satan wants us to believe that it's useless to try, that it's too late, that we are too weak, that we are not making progress, that no one cares. Sometimes, when we step back and look at ourselves with a fresh and positive-seeking perspective, we notice that the faults/mistakes we thought were insurmountable don't have the power over us that we imagined. That we cannot only overcome, but do so without endless hand-wringing and self-flagellation. Because Christ's grace is sufficient. We can move forward doing GOOD. And that is what it is all about.
Drops of awesome.

I Asked Mike,"What's Our Destination?"...

...as we tried to gather children and supplies for the snowshoeing excursion I insisted we take the family for New Years Eve morning. I was thinking a quickie to Yellow Fork, but he thought Millcreek would be better. So, according to plan...

Hoping to get an early start after breakfast New Year's Eve, we loaded the Yakima and prodded children to move, find socks, stop bickering...stuff like that.  I don't know if it was the inertia of lounging around for days, but getting everyone into their snow gear, packing food, kids, dog and equipment... and getting to the mountains was like turning the Titanic around. Slow and cumbersome. I think it took us about 2 hours to get up there, including that time we had to turn around and come back to get Mike's cell phone, so we wouldn't miss the appliance repair guy who was supposed to come and fix our oven (we ended up missing him anyway, we were out of range). 

Life with the Melton's. 

Even the dog, historically hyper for any adventure, was reluctant this time. What can you say? He's middle-aged now, and when we stepped out into the very nippy morning air, he acted like he just wanted to get back in the car, and go home...along with about half the kids.

But we did what you do...

press on.                

It paid off.

We were rewarded with the stunning beauty of the forest in winter. The kids and dog warmed up (literally) to the idea as we went along.

Heading up the trail, into the woods.

 Later, we reaching a bend in the trail with a view where I thought we could take some good pictures. Then I promptly dropped the camera in the snow. I may have ruined it.

(Our camera was already hanging by a thread. This may be the incident which forces us to buy a new one.)

 Here's our blurry family.

I eventually got it relatively dry for this shot, taken by a friendly lady passing by.

 I took this one last photo before it died. Maybe permanently.

It was so cold that the air was filled with those  super tiny water crystals, making everything sparkly. It was LOVELY. I hope the kids will look back on these outings fondly. Even if we had to drag them occasionally.

Sunday night at Family Home Evening we made a list and talked about the miracles our family and friends have experienced this year. The hand of the Lord in our lives. Then we pulled out the folded up sheets of paper we have kept our New Year's resolutions on for the past 3 years running, and made new goals. (It is so fun to look back at past years' resolutions side by side with the new ones...especially for the kids. You can really see them growing up. Some of the old  ones are pretty funny, like: "shower every other day" - I won't mention which of the kids wrote that one a few years ago. ha ha ha...)

New Year's Eve night Jess hit the stake dance with her friends. (She gets SO excited for them.  I almost die laughing every time she goes because she wants to show me her dance moves in advance, and talk about strategy, etc. Oh my goodness, I can hardly keep myself from busting up just thinking about it....) Noble went to a friend's house, and we hosted Grace's buddies here for a night of wii, and Barbie princesses and munchies. Tillman & Sully sacked out upstairs with Mike and I for a movie. I totally fell asleep on the couch at about 11:00, and I was a zombie when Jess came in at 12:45 AM and gave us the post-dance run-down. I am going to need a lot of naps if we are going to have teenagers around the house.

Yesterday we put away Christmas decorations, took care of some nagging errands, Mike and I went out for lunch together (one last day-time date before returning to our routine / the chain gang), and had a family dinner all together at home (Mike is usually gone for week-night dinner because of his work schedule). 

We had a good break. But it is always refreshing to get back on track... in many ways.

Some of the kids weren't sold on going back to school this morning, especially when we woke them up for 6:30 scripture reading. But by the time we got on the road, I think they were even excited.

A hilarious story about Jess on the ride to school this morning...

A little background: Jessie has been accused regularly of being WAY too perky when she answers the phone. Like, you-might-think-she-is-being-sarcastic-and-rude perky. 

So, I was talking to Noble about bands and drummers (he got a set of electronic drums for Christmas), and Jessie interjected, "How about Neon Trees? Their drummer is a girl. She's the only girl in the band..."

Me: "Yeah....I just have a hard time listening to their lead singer. He's SO intense. I think he's trying too hard."

Jess: "Well, maybe that's just how he is. Maybe he can't help it...Like me on the phone." It was a good point.

I was laughing so hard I could barely breath. For the rest of the drive we were all (including Jessie, lest you think we were having fun at her expense) making jokes about Jessie's phone voice. (She is seriously so awesome.) 

Anyway, happy New Year!

I couldn't resist sharing this rad photo of the kid next door who came to play with Sully. She was standing there like this when I opened the door. Awesome.

I'm not sure what the year will bring for us, but I do know that if we just  keep pressing on a little farther, it's going to get good.

First day of post-Christmas break...the big kids gone to school. A quiet morning with these two angels.

New Babies and Ice Skates

Mike taking it to the ice with Abner.  Yee HAW!!!   (I LOVE this picture!)

It has been a pretty laid-back week after Christmas around here...a little too laid-back for me. I always feel like we are wasting rare opportunities for family adventures when people are lounging around the house, reading, watching movies or playing games. And there was plenty of that this week. Along with lots of rich food...which makes me feel even more like a slug. These past few days we got busy though.

Yesterday we met our friends at the Olympic Ice Oval in Kearns for some ice skating.

Dads on the side lines

Grace coming in for a landing. That little girl with Grace in the picture latched onto Grace, and stuck to her like glue the whole time we were there. I guess Grace just looked like a friendly sort. 

Jess completing her double axel. (Just kidding.)

Sully was pretty good with his walker. Last year when he tried to skate with one he only managed to bloody his lip on it. He wins most improved...doing a little bit better than that kid on the ice in the back ground.

Now for the big news! On Thursday afternoon I got word that the arrival of my sister's baby girl was imminent. We sprang into action. Jessie was recruited to babysit the baby's big brother at home while my mom and I went to assist at the birth. Beth asked me to be there to take pictures and be gofer or moral support or whatever. I was thrilled. This was my first chance to ever be there for the birth of a baby where I was not in the driver's seat, so to speak. She delivered at a birth center in Millcreek. It was new for all of us, but really nice in a lot of ways. Beth had been super nervous about it, but everything was comfortable and quiet. The midwives really stepped aside to let us figure out what to do to help her labor. Beth was awesome. It was a quick 3 hour labor (that's lightening speed by my standards, but slow by Beth's), and baby Meg was born a few minutes before 9PM, just as calm as a baby could possibly be. It was a beautiful experience. Thanks Beth and Roy!

Visiting Meg at home the next day.

A little bit of HEAVEN. Baby Meg, you are AWESOME. Welcome to the world!

Christmas is Good

If you live in Utah, Christmas this year turned out looking like a Christmas card, with fresh snow Christmas Eve and a bright, clear Christmas morning. This was a welcome turn of events after a winter (and Christmas) without snow last year. The kids were so excited. The only downer was that several of the kids received bikes or other wheeled toys for Christmas, and have been unable to really test-drive them yet. Instead, Sully and Tillman have been riding non-stop around the house. (Good thing we installed those indestructible laminate floors.)

Christmas Eve. Abner is always missing from these pictures. He has a different bedtime than everyone else.

Mike's parents were stuck with just us this year, since none of Mike's brothers & families were able to make it home for the holiday. We spent a quiet dinner with them Christmas Eve and made it over to the barn for the traditional nativity program with the Sullivan clan. After our own family scripture reading and devotional that night, the older kids bunked out together in the basement family room, as is their tradition, while the little brothers went to their beds up stairs. It was a long evening for Mike and I. Let me just say, that the elves have to put in some long hours when you are talking about Christmas in a household with six children. But, in the end, everything came together for another magical Christmas morning.

Christmas morning we had the usual visit from my parents and little bro, Sean...who came by to say Merry Christmas and see if Santa had come. They also delivered the last of the gifts, a new dresser for the girls' bedroom, that had been hiding in the Sullivan's shed. The Bachand's also came over for a little while to enjoy the morning together. We love family! Later we had Mike's parents over for Christmas dinner, which turned out to be a bit of a challenge since our oven went out about a week ago (the latest in a string of appliances gone on the fritz). None the less, we had a feast: Ham, herb potatoes, cooked carrots, almond & cranberry spinach salad, apple and pomegranate salad, homemade rolls (thanks Jacque!), raspberry jello, and chocolate silk pie. It was a quieter Christmas than we have had in the past, but so lovely. 

The kids made out like bandits...some Christmas dreams do come true. (For example, Grace scored that Barbie castle she has wanted for years...and which was always either prohibited by the budget or her mother's protestation...mostly the latter. But you should have seen her face Christmas morning.)

When it comes to gifts that money can't buy, Mike and I did pretty well this Christmas as well, like the carefully wrapped, hand-written note from Grace which guaranteed us "a never ending supply of hugs and kisses anytime you like." You see what I mean?

Today we spent the day taking it easy. Mike took the snow blower out to do the driveway and some of the neighbors' walks. I swept snow off the Adirondack chairs on the front porch, and Mike and I sat out with a couple of mugs of Mexican chocolate, enjoying the snow like people do at fancy ski chalets. Ha ha ha.

Later, Jess and I went to exchange the boots she got for Christmas (there were 2 left feet in the box...seriously.), and then we went and had lunch mano y mano. We talked and laughed forever... it is really so much fun to have a teenage daughter! When we got home Mike was standing, frazzled with a baby on his hip (just like I look every afternoon), at the door going, "Where have you been?" I made it up to him, by letting him and the older boys go to see The Hobbit for a boys' night out together. (He had promised Tillman that if he read the book on his own he would take him to see it. Tillman read The Hobbit in 2 days. I was impressed.)
We are planning some quality family time over the next few days of Christmas break. Mike worked hard ahead of Christmas so he could take the rest of the year off (that sounds like a lot doesn't it) to be with us.

We have so much to be grateful for.  Mostly, for the Savior of the world who sacrificed so much for each of us. We love Him. And for family. We have been blessed to have had another year of memories together.
Thankful.

2012 In Review

Here we are at the end of another year, grateful for all that we have. Of course, along with the other inhabitants of the planet, we are particularly grateful that the world did not end in a cataclysmic asteroid collision yesterday (in case you hadn't heard, the 21st marked the end of a Mayan long count cycle, leading many to predict the dramatic obliteration of our world). So, whew, glad that's over. As things stand, we are looking forward to enjoying another pre-apocalyptic Christmas together in a few days.
:)



Here is a quick look back over the year in case you are not a regular reader of the blog (but are looking in because our blog address was on the Christmas card I sent you)...and for those of us who like the closure of a year-end summary.



It seems like this year was more busy than ever for our family, and that is saying something.

This year in July marked 15 years or marriage for Mike and I, and I am happy to report that it has never been better. Of course, being married to someone like Mitch-darling makes that pretty easy. It was good to look back at how far we've come, and how we never could have imagined life as it is for us now. I can't wait for the next 15 years...and beyond.

Mike continues at Fidelity Investments - 13 years now. He recently moved out of the American Fork office where he was for the past several years, and back downtown SLC in a new role. He is good at what he does. He also teaches introductory and Masters level classes in Economics at the University of Phoenix on a regular basis. Along with work, he serves in the Young Men's organization at church (lots of activities and camps), works on projects around the house and somehow manages to keep up with 6 kids and a big black dog.

I have the job of family 'facilitator' (or, 'enabler', depending on your point of view). This year I have logged approximately 780,000 miles in the family car shuttling children to school, sports, music lessons, back to school to deliver forgotten homework, church activities, friends' houses, the store, back to the store for that thing one if the kids forgot to mention they needed for a school project the next day, the doctor or dentist, the barn, preschool, or, setting up for church functions, etc. I keep plenty busy with the house, the kids, volunteering at the school, and my calling in the RS at church. Despite my crazy schedule, I attempted to take on a part time writing job this fall from home. I enjoyed the challenge, but soon discovered that it was just one thing too many.  Maybe some day there will be time again to do things I am interested in .

Jessie turned (a beautiful) 14 this fall, and continues to remind us that she is only 2 years away from driving and dating. I am actually a little ahead of her, focused on the terrifying fact that she has less than 5 years at home with us before she sets out into the world.            (speechless pause)               Anyway, she LOVES to be busy. She gets involved in every activity she can...which accounts for many logistical headaches on my part. She works hard at school, and it shows. She had a successful year in 4H, despite a frightening incident early in the season when she suffered a concussion and fractured cheek bone. All has healed and she competed on two different horses, qualifying for State again. (Thanks again to my Dad who made this all possible for her.) She started guitar lessons this fall (but still plays piano on her own, and for accompaniment at church). She played volleyball, had a leading role in a production with her after-school musical theater group, began teaching horse-back riding lessons for a couple of girls, and is currently playing Jr. Jazz basketball... and doing very well. She also went to girls camp and Oakcrest this past summer...which she still loves to talk about. She is such an extrovert, wanting to do everything and talk to everyone...it can be exhausting for some of the rest of us.

Noble is a tall, handsome young man at 12 years old. Something happened this year and suddenly he is all grown up. Well, not quite. Within about one week this past summer he was ordained to the priesthood, joined the YM at church, attended his first week-long scout camp and tried out for football. Football was a revelation. He had wanted to play for a few years previously, but we had put him off, thinking it was too dangerous, too involved, too......much (and we assumed that it was not "his thing"). This year he asked to play again, and we couldn't say no. It turned out to be an AMAZING experience for him and us. He learned a lot about himself, and showed us what he is capable of. We are grateful that we had the impression to let him go ahead with it. His team ended up winning the championship on a cold morning in over a foot of snow. It was epic. This year Noble also had the chance to travel to Michigan with Tillman and Mike's parents to visit his cousins for 10 days this summer. It was his first time away from us for so long. He does well at school (when he turns in his homework!) and is still taking piano lessons. He is turning into a capable young man, and, as we have always known, well-equipped to make his own way in the world.

Grace is our sweet, lovely 10 year old. She is always so conscientious of everyone around her and the tone in our home. She is like a love-barometer, letting us know when things are just right or when we need to love a little more (and contend less). She has a very sensitive spirit. She works very hard at school, and with the help of some special accommodations for her learning challenges, she is getting outstanding grades and making great progress. This summer she showed her creative genius when she started up the neighborhood "Spy Club". It is still going strong. They have by-laws, and club t-shirts and a hide-out and everything. She was in tumbling this year, takes piano lessons, enjoys Activity Days,  and is looking forward to playing tennis this coming summer.

Tillman celebrated his 8th birthday this past January, and was baptized the following month. I am so grateful to have Tillman. He is a great asset to our family. He has a close relationship with every one of his siblings for different reasons. It astonishes me how easy he is with people. He is just comfortable. And kind. He has good friends and lots to do. He is good about completing his homework and piano practice on his own, and doing his chores (so he can get out and play with his friends). He is playing basketball again this year, and is getting pretty good, mostly because he is SO full of energy out there. He learns quick, and he is persistent. He wants to start speed skating lessons at the Olympic Ice Oval next. He has been loving cub scouts and wants to earn every arrow point and achievement he can. He is a very motivated kid.

It is hard for me to believe, but Sully turned 4 this year. He is funny and so full of personality...and super cute too. He makes everything fun. He started preschool this year and loves it. He especially loves his little friends. He has a combustible friendship with the little girl next door. They have great times, as long as things don't come to blows. He got a little push-bike thing for his birthday this year, and he tears around the neighborhood with her at break-neck speed. He has worn the toes out of more than one pair of shoes. He's learning. He knows how to write his name and loves to color and draw. He is tender with his little brother and the animals, and tries to be helpful around the house. The past few weeks he has been so excited helping me work to get the house "ready for the holidays" (his pronunciation: "hole-idays"). We love Sully. Everyone loves Sully.

Abner...sweet Abner. He turned 1 this year. He has started to say things like: "dg" (dog), "khi" (kitty), "bah-bah" (bottle), "bah-bah" (Noble), "buh" (Sully or Tillman), "Da" (Dad), "Muh" (Mom), and makes the sound effect for car. Mostly it's gibberish, but we love to listen. He runs like crazy all over the house, especially if you will chase him. He has 6 teeth and moppy hair, and prefers his dad to any other human being on earth.

With our busy schedule and the baby we didn't get very far from home this year. We did make a trip to Goblin Valley and a couple of visits to Seven Peaks and the mountains for hiking and snowshoeing... and made some AWESOME memories.

This has been a wonderful year of blessings and growth for our family. We have had good days and hard days, mostly good. We said good bye to Mike's lovely grandmother this past year. We are grateful for the influence she had on each of us, and that we could know her so well. We will see her again.

We are blessed. We have had all that we need. We are free and healthy. We have the peace and assurance that comes from the Atonement of Christ. We are grateful to have had another year together. We love our family and friends and are thankful for the richness that those relationships bring into our lives.  Life is good.

We hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

Finally We Had Enough Snow...

Saturday AM we awoke to about 8 inches of fresh powder.  After last winter's drought, I decided we would not pass up the opportunity to be out in it. So, after a quick breakfast of eggs and toast, we loaded up the dudes and headed to the local sledding hill at about 9:30, hoping to beat the crowd. We lucked out. 

A few years ago we graduated to the "big" sledding hill (the older kids could no longer be entertained on the beginner hill we used to visit). And, true to that classic observation about younger siblings picking things up more quickly than their older counterparts, the little brothers have not missed a beat. They jump in with gusto.

There's no better way to spend a Saturday before Christmas.

The whole bunch before we dove in. (Noble was just about to get busted for putting that snow down Tillman's coat......which put a brief damper on the fun.    ...he he he... ) 

The boys of winter

Grace giving Abner a push on the swings at the top of the hill.

Happy (snotty) camper.

The Hoffman's joined us just before we left. The more the merrier! 

Noble tearing it up.

Jess and Sully traveling at about mach 1 down the hill. Sully LOVED every minute of sledding!

Hiking up

Tillman getting ready for his run.

Abner was such a good sport. YeeHaw!!!

Noble, the awesome big brother, giving Sully a lift on the way back up.

This just about sums up the morning. Yay for winter!

Christmas in Paradise

After months of prep, all the stars aligned for a really amazing evening for the Country Crossing 8th Ward. The event exceeded all our expectations for attendance. Last year we set up enough tables for about 250, and didn't fill them all. So, this year we set up enough for just about 225 people. We literally didn't have enough seats for everyone who came. That was a first. Our ward is on the small side, but I am pretty sure we had close to 300 people there. Lots of people from the neighborhood. So much fun.

Our Tiki totem entryway

The "Santa Room" - with candy leis for the children

A highlight of the festivities: the Tiki Hut Juice bar, where the YW served up delicious umbrella bedecked slushies.

The stage ready for the entertainment.

There was a lot of Polynesian dancing, and hula hooping (Mike got to show off his skillz). The food was AWESOME (almost all of it was eaten up). Everyone laughed a lot, so, think it was a success. I am sorry I don't have any pictures from the actual party. It was too crazy.

And the best news of all? We are NOT in charge next year!

A Whole Lotta Drama

I am trying to keep up with the blog. Not very effectively. 

In the past month we've had kids in two different theatrical performances.

Grace's 5th grade class put on A Midsummer Nights Dream. She played Snug and a very convincing lion. Unfortunately (and par for the course with me), I left my camera at home that day. You'll have to take my word for it. She was awesome!

Jessie's after-school theater group put on their performances the last week in November. It was a musical tribute to the silent film era: "When 'Silents" Was Golden". She played Mary Pickford ("America's Sweetheart", as she had a habit of reminding us). Mike and I attended the opening night performance, along with my mom, my niece, and Mike's dad. Other than some technical difficulties with the lighting board, it was fantastic. Mike and I couldn't make it to the second performance, but the word on the street is that it was even better! Mike's parents, my brother and his family, and a bunch of Jessie's friends were there to represent that night. Jess did a great job. 

That girl likes to perform. I really don't know where she gets it.

Here she is, opening night, doing her "damsel in distress" on the railroad tracks scene:

MVI 6088 from Angie Melton on Vimeo.

A clip of the finale, just as my battery was dying:

MVI 6092 from Angie Melton on Vimeo.

In other dramatic news...

I have been helping to plan the ward Christmas party (again) this year. This kind of thing makes me stressed. I was not born with a gift for party planning. But with a lot of qualified help I am hoping that it will come together again this year. With all that goes into these things, I almost feel like we should be working for Disneyland or something, ...creating elaborate worlds.   

The theme this year is "Christmas in Paradise" aka: a luau. 

Imagine: A grass tiki hut juice bar (picture little umbrella drinks while people arrive and mingle), deluxe luau food (thanks to Kris Kemp and crew), live ukulele music, Santa in a Hawaiian shirt & Bermudas, handing out candy leis to all the good little girls and boys, various Polynesian dances from the YM, the YW and the Primary, and a reverent video presentation about the birth of Christ from the point of view of those in the New World, to round out the evening. In my basement I have cardboard tiki totem poles, spears & surfboards. We have inflatable flamingos (not Polynesian, but whatever...),  fishing nets, pool noodle palm trees, giant tissue paper flowers, and even Polynesian nativity sets (don't ask)....etc.

This all goes down tomorrow. I will let you know how the evening of magic turns out.    

Break a leg!