I think we had just finished having a water fight in the back yard. Castlerock, Colorado - 1984.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
The Sullivan Sisters 1984
I think we had just finished having a water fight in the back yard. Castlerock, Colorado - 1984.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Snowshoes for everyone!
For a Valentine's Day / birthday gift Mike surprized us all with new snowshoes...very cool (MUCH better than last year's birthday gift - the Wii - which I had on my list of things NOT to get). So, President's Day we spent up by Donut Falls with some friends trying them out.
Outhouse Jumping!
Woo Hoo!
Also - we did a modesty fashion design activity with the Beehives with newspaper. My favorite was the Obituary page bermuda shorts (no disrespect intended). It was awesome.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Gratitude
SUNSHINE
I taught the Young Women's lesson on Sunday entitled "Finding Joy Now" - could not have been more timely for me. One of the suggestions for the girls was to keep a gratitude journal... and I thought "I'm sure that will help..." So I made an entry that night - included such things as: watching the boys ride bikes together in the sleet of spring, my parents stopping by just because - and staying to chat, Mike did NOT get layed off last week, Grace determined to do most of the crafts in our family craft ideas book, Grace's Mr. T impersonations ("Suckah"), cooking dinner with Jessie, Sully reaching his arms up in the air and squeeling, the bond Mike and I have, the fortress of the gospel.
Gratitude is such amazing medicine.
"Suckah"
(only Grace would juxtapose A-Team and American Girl) Friday, February 6, 2009
The odd moment of silence
I don't know where all the kids are --- but I'm not going to find out (for at least the next 30 minutes). This has been sort of a tough week. Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you work you just can't avoid critical mass-pressure, the point where you explode? It seems to happen all too often to me.
Added to the usual nightly stress of homework, baby, dinner and bedtime without Mike, there's been way too much on the plate. Plus Mike's had lay-offs this week at work, keeping him occupied and both of us a little nervous. Add in too little sleep... & you have a recipe for an epoch melt-down. I just got worn out. SO - last night I spent some time crying ... more accurately: having a tantrum. Sometimes something has to give. I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - calm, happy & everything under control one minute, and several hours later (after the kids have come home from school - and I'm in the middle of pandemonium,) some crazy lady, yelling at everyone, occasionally in tears.
I'm not sure what the answer is. But I think finding it is what being a parent is all about. Once we've learned that secret we win. In the mean time we work at keeping our heads above water - and with any luck not scar (or scare) our children permanently.
Last night after the storm subsided I sat down with Jessie to talk and reminded her (and me) that there are no perfect families. Hopefully we're improving - (drama like that is too tiring).
Added to the usual nightly stress of homework, baby, dinner and bedtime without Mike, there's been way too much on the plate. Plus Mike's had lay-offs this week at work, keeping him occupied and both of us a little nervous. Add in too little sleep... & you have a recipe for an epoch melt-down. I just got worn out. SO - last night I spent some time crying ... more accurately: having a tantrum. Sometimes something has to give. I feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - calm, happy & everything under control one minute, and several hours later (after the kids have come home from school - and I'm in the middle of pandemonium,) some crazy lady, yelling at everyone, occasionally in tears.
I'm not sure what the answer is. But I think finding it is what being a parent is all about. Once we've learned that secret we win. In the mean time we work at keeping our heads above water - and with any luck not scar (or scare) our children permanently.
Last night after the storm subsided I sat down with Jessie to talk and reminded her (and me) that there are no perfect families. Hopefully we're improving - (drama like that is too tiring).
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sully's Kitchen Sink Shower
http://www.flickr.com/photos/25052025@N07/sets/72157612803040155/show/...until I can figure out how to put the slideshow directly into the blog...
This kid is the epicenter of joy at our house.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Epiphany
I learned an important lesson this past week. I can't believe it took me so long to come to this realization.
This started last week when Mike finally met with his advisor on his Masters project (the one he turned in a week before the end of the semester). Of course, we were all hoping the professor would (if for no other reason than shear pity) pass it off and we would finally be done. (Notice the use of the pronoun "we" in that sentence. Though I have contributed nothing but a last minute edit and nagging encouragement - somehow the thing has glared out at me from MY "to-do"list for a year and a half now.) So Mike called and announced the obvious - which from my state of wishful thinking ("this thing can't POSSIBLY get drug out any longer") came as a shocking blow - that the project needed a couple of changes before he would pass it & to meet with him in 2 weeks. My next question, "Do we have to pay for ANOTHER semester's tuition?" "Yes." At that moment I didn't know whether to take my frustration out on Mike ("I can't believe you've let this happen!") or his professor ("How can he make us enroll in another semester for 2 weeks!?" ). Thankfully, I didn't say anything in that moment that I would later regret, but I'm sure Mike could feel the disgust in my silence. The rest of the day I spent trying not to think about flushing yet another $1500 we don't have down the drain...and wondering why the man can't just FINISH the thing.
Mike worked until about 11:00 PM, and the next morning he was sleeping in as usual (even though I go to bed at the same time). And, as usual, there I was prodding him to get out of bed before 9:30 rolled around - because we have things that have to be done. Then it hit me. I realized all at once that I had been colluding with him in his tendencies to procrastinate and not discipline his life more - because I make his responsibilities MY responsibilities. I tell him what to do. Should I be surprised if he resists a little? Or gets used to letting me worry about everything? The light bulb clicked on.
I woke him up to tell him that THIS was the problem (having to be told even when to get out of bed in the morning). I was mothering him and he was depending on me to do it, and that I wasn't going to do it anymore. I told him he could finish his Masters or not finish it if he wanted to - but that HE would have to face the consequences of his choices. He could work out how to pay for the tuition. ...I think the whole conversation surprised him (it did me too).
Since then... The difference is apparent. I feel better (not fighting the losing battle of dictating an other's life) and I think Mike does too (it's got to give a person more self-respect and power to control one's own choices - for better or worse). And Mike is stepping up.
The moral of this story is: the changing that had to be done was my own. I was trying to control things that were not mine to control and predictably I was disappointed. Mike is mortal -(I know, it was a surprise to me too) he has weaknesses - but by trying to make him do the right thing I think I've managed over time to make things worse. (I remind myself of who's plan it was to force everyone to be perfect.) Amazingly, the freedom from that burden came instantly. Still, I have to remind myself - because old habits die hard. (That should be the title of the next Bruce Willis movie.)
Epilogue: Mike really wants to do law school. With a sense of comic irony I say, "Okay, Mike." I'm sure it will go more smoothly without me trying to do it for him.
This started last week when Mike finally met with his advisor on his Masters project (the one he turned in a week before the end of the semester). Of course, we were all hoping the professor would (if for no other reason than shear pity) pass it off and we would finally be done. (Notice the use of the pronoun "we" in that sentence. Though I have contributed nothing but a last minute edit and nagging encouragement - somehow the thing has glared out at me from MY "to-do"list for a year and a half now.) So Mike called and announced the obvious - which from my state of wishful thinking ("this thing can't POSSIBLY get drug out any longer") came as a shocking blow - that the project needed a couple of changes before he would pass it & to meet with him in 2 weeks. My next question, "Do we have to pay for ANOTHER semester's tuition?" "Yes." At that moment I didn't know whether to take my frustration out on Mike ("I can't believe you've let this happen!") or his professor ("How can he make us enroll in another semester for 2 weeks!?" ). Thankfully, I didn't say anything in that moment that I would later regret, but I'm sure Mike could feel the disgust in my silence. The rest of the day I spent trying not to think about flushing yet another $1500 we don't have down the drain...and wondering why the man can't just FINISH the thing.
Mike worked until about 11:00 PM, and the next morning he was sleeping in as usual (even though I go to bed at the same time). And, as usual, there I was prodding him to get out of bed before 9:30 rolled around - because we have things that have to be done. Then it hit me. I realized all at once that I had been colluding with him in his tendencies to procrastinate and not discipline his life more - because I make his responsibilities MY responsibilities. I tell him what to do. Should I be surprised if he resists a little? Or gets used to letting me worry about everything? The light bulb clicked on.
I woke him up to tell him that THIS was the problem (having to be told even when to get out of bed in the morning). I was mothering him and he was depending on me to do it, and that I wasn't going to do it anymore. I told him he could finish his Masters or not finish it if he wanted to - but that HE would have to face the consequences of his choices. He could work out how to pay for the tuition. ...I think the whole conversation surprised him (it did me too).
Since then... The difference is apparent. I feel better (not fighting the losing battle of dictating an other's life) and I think Mike does too (it's got to give a person more self-respect and power to control one's own choices - for better or worse). And Mike is stepping up.
The moral of this story is: the changing that had to be done was my own. I was trying to control things that were not mine to control and predictably I was disappointed. Mike is mortal -(I know, it was a surprise to me too) he has weaknesses - but by trying to make him do the right thing I think I've managed over time to make things worse. (I remind myself of who's plan it was to force everyone to be perfect.) Amazingly, the freedom from that burden came instantly. Still, I have to remind myself - because old habits die hard. (That should be the title of the next Bruce Willis movie.)
Epilogue: Mike really wants to do law school. With a sense of comic irony I say, "Okay, Mike." I'm sure it will go more smoothly without me trying to do it for him.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
New Year
We had a great holiday. It was so nice to see family and friends. A lot-o-kids, a lot-o-snow. I snapped this photo of Mike shoveling late on Christmas day (I think it was like midnight). I always think the Christmas lights look pretty under the snow.
Noble on Christmas at Grandma's house.
And...introducing ANOTHER addition to our household, Pluto the cat. (We're sticking with the planetary theme.) The neighbors found him and wanted to find him a home. The kids fell in love - and brought him to me, telling me his pitful story. It was useless to resist...
Baby Sully sitting. This photo was taken at about 5 months. He turned 6 months this past week. How could a kid be cuter?
I spent New Year's Eve hanging out with Jessie and a couple of her friends and their moms at her first "till-midnight" New Year's Eve party while they played Wii and watched a movie. (It was pretty WILD...) I just wanted to go to sleep. But we had to be there to explain the signifigance of that giant ball they drop in Time Square. (We really couldn't tell them what that's all about???) Getting old??? Or is it just that my KIDS are getting old?
Life is good. The other day as I was mediating a fight from inside the bathroom, I thought of the silliness of that moment. I had to laugh - and thought how little things like that make up our lives. New Year's resolution: Enjoy the ride more.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Here comes Santa Claus
Tillman and Noble
The level of giddiness rises at our house with each passing day, each door on the advent calendar...while I work at keeping expectations under control. Now I know why my mom used to tell us every year, "Guys you're not going to be getting a lot this year." It just takes a little pressure off a parent. Except that when I say that to one of my children the most common response is, "Well, Santa will bring it." Actually, so far our kids have been WONDERFUL about what they've received and haven't received for Christmas. (That year Santa brought a pogo stick instead of an American Girl doll for Jess I worried a little- but she was just as stoked.) I'm also beginning to understand why my mom was always trying to minimize our holidays, planning less. As a kid I was always thinking, "Why can't she just have fun with Christmas? Like us?" Now I realize that she was the one making the fun. Parents are the magic makers - and that's great except when it starts to consume too much time and energy and money - and you start to forget why you're doing it and every priority gets reshuffled. So now it's my turn to say to my kids (and everyone else)"We're (I'm) doing less. You're getting less. Let's have more FUN!" - Still working on it.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Reviewing family videos
Snowy day ...
I've been trying to sift through old family videos - giving them to our parents for Christmas on DVD. I haven't looked at them for years. I haven't seen my children in that stage for so long. It's strange...not only to see them in motion as toddlers... but also myself and Mitch-Darling. I'm SO glad for video cameras; things are more real in motion. I can picture myself at 90 - watching and re-watching those old movies and feeling warm inside remembering my children the way they were.
As long as we're talking about videos... here's one not-so-ancient yet.
Here's a short clip from one of this summer's Saturday morning "Constitutional" hikes with my brothers/sisters. My brother Casey and his wife invented it - meeting every Saturday morning of the summer with kids in tow at a new trail for a hike - for our health (both physically and psychologically). Good times.
I've been trying to sift through old family videos - giving them to our parents for Christmas on DVD. I haven't looked at them for years. I haven't seen my children in that stage for so long. It's strange...not only to see them in motion as toddlers... but also myself and Mitch-Darling. I'm SO glad for video cameras; things are more real in motion. I can picture myself at 90 - watching and re-watching those old movies and feeling warm inside remembering my children the way they were.
As long as we're talking about videos... here's one not-so-ancient yet.
Here's a short clip from one of this summer's Saturday morning "Constitutional" hikes with my brothers/sisters. My brother Casey and his wife invented it - meeting every Saturday morning of the summer with kids in tow at a new trail for a hike - for our health (both physically and psychologically). Good times.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Per Mitch-Darling's suggestion, I'm inaugurating the family blog. He says that this might be therapeutic for me while serving a purpose (i.e. journaling the life of our family).
Anyway, having grown up in a pre-Internet world, I'm always a bit leery of the spotlight of putting our lives "out there". Should I assign all my children code names? Wow.
Yes, I named our blog after our dog. Nobe was about 4 years old when we brought our dog home from the shelter. When we asked him what we should name the dog, without hesitation he said "Jupiter the Space Donkey". Soooo... we HAD to go with it, except for everyday use we shorten it. When we're chasing our wild black lab around the neighborhood trying to retrieve him when he gets out we just yell, JUPITER!!!!
Anyway, having grown up in a pre-Internet world, I'm always a bit leery of the spotlight of putting our lives "out there". Should I assign all my children code names? Wow.
Yes, I named our blog after our dog. Nobe was about 4 years old when we brought our dog home from the shelter. When we asked him what we should name the dog, without hesitation he said "Jupiter the Space Donkey". Soooo... we HAD to go with it, except for everyday use we shorten it. When we're chasing our wild black lab around the neighborhood trying to retrieve him when he gets out we just yell, JUPITER!!!!
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