Wednesday Morning

Cold this morning.

In the carpool we watched a GIANT full moon set over the Oquirrh Mountains to the northwest, and then the sun rise under a bank of clouds between Lone Peak and Timp in the east. It was a sublime moment in the carpool.

Then I came back home to hang out with Sully.

There was a time (when Jess was little) when this stay-at-home-mom thing felt like dull business, like I'd given up something more important, like I was wasting my options and talents. I can't say I ever regretted having kids or staying home to raise them - but there was a time when it seemed like I was being left behind by the world.

That all changed several years ago. I realized that the "sacrifices" I thought I was making weren't actually sacrifices, that I had gained the most.... I was embarrassed that I had ever felt negative and apologetic about being a mom.

Even though there are lots of times when I still feel frustrated and exhausted, I can honestly say that I appreciate my job as mother more now. I think I see it in a more truthful light = THE most important (and satisfying) work. Motherhood (actually parenthood in general) does more to refine and teach us the essential lessons in life than anything else I can think of. It's constantly humbling, challenging, thankless, and beautiful. Makes us into creatures who live to give to others. I can see that better now.