Adios, Padres

It's been a whole month of good-bye's for these two as they have wrapped things up  at home and headed out on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Finally received their mission call: Nauvoo, Illinois, USA - April

We got together for a last family temple day in April.

They spoke in church the end of April, and were set apart on May 3, and reported the next day to the MTC in Provo for a week. Sort of. They were still able to come home every night. We were able to get together for a pool party / dinner party / FHE one night that week.  Hosted by their very generous neighbors, the Griffith's.

IMG 0169 from Angie Melton on Vimeo.
Last Sunday we had the chance to spend one more evening all together. Appropriately, it was Mother's Day.

The Sullivan family. 

After that, they still had a day or two at the MTC - and some of us were able to see them again - and hug them good bye.

They started their drive out to Nauvoo on Wednesday this week. They have had enough time to detour and see a few church history sites (Adam-ondi-Ahman and Haun's Mill) before arriving at Nauvoo today. They report rain during their journey, but, as Dad reported yesterday, the bikes are still on the rack. So, all is well. All is well on the homefront too -- for now.  Jessie has checked in on the horses, I think the house is still standing (right, Holly and Kay?), and if we can get a break in the weather Noble and Tillman will get over there tomorrow to mow.

I'm just excited to see their pictures and hear about their experiences.

I miss our parents. And in a few weeks the Henderson's will be leaving us too - moving to Louisiana. It's all for the best - but I can't help getting teary. We've been spoiled, the whole family living so close together for the past 10 years. It couldn't last. I love them all so much.

There is a Reason They Write Songs About Mondays

Some days you wonder if you should have just stayed in bed. I thought about journaling about my day Monday, but in my heightened emotional state Monday night, decided to give it some time. So now, from the wizened perspective of two days on, I will add the events of  Monday, 27 April to the Melton family historic record.

Monday dawned a cool spring morning. I coaxed the kids out of bed as usual for scripture reading and prayer where I had to continue prodding to keep them awake, after which, they filed off to get ready for school. I say that loosely. A few got dressed (& ran next door to their piano lesson), one started goofing off with his little brother, and one went back to bed. At 3 min to go-time (when the Expedition departs the garage) as I was raising my voice at one child to get his shoes on (for the 10th time), and encouraging 2 others to get their teeth brushed, and for someone to take the dog out. The one who went back to bed (Noble) wandered up the basement stairs to inquire what time it was. When I replied that we were leaving in 3 min he started a desperate negotiation to buy enough time to shower. I told him, "Too late. Skip the shower." Even though I knew very well that my 8th grade son would sooner sign away his long board than go to school (where there are girls to impress) without completing his full morning hygiene regimen (shower, hair dryer, teeth brush, mouth wash, deodorant, hair coiffing paste). In some unexplained time-bending phenomenon, he trotted out to the car as we loaded up 5 minutes later (we managed to give him 2 extra min) showered and fresh (but without breakfast).

After dropping the kids at school I pulled into the driveway and noticed the dog (that stupid dog!) standing there in my garden. The garden I had spent the ENTIRE day Friday cultivating and planting. He had dug up all my mounds, trampled all my seed beds, and topped it off by pooping in the peas. I stomped out in my pj's and tried to lure him out, to which he responded by growling his "I dare you" growl at me when I approached him. (I admit to repeating under my breath the words, "I hate that dog. I hate that dog...." again and again.) When I finally got him out of the garden and fixed the wire fence around the garden which I thought would keep him contained (my first mistake). I went in to get on with my day.

After dropping Abner off at preschool, I came home to do my exercise and clean up from breakfast. As I walked into the basement to get on the elliptical I was greeted by a giant mess, making it quickly apparent that certain children had shirked their weekend duties.  Then I walked into their bedrooms. Ugh....walking into my kids rooms is stress-inducing. A half eaten banana, empty dishes, dirty clothes on the floor, clutter...Before you ask, yes we DO have rules prohibiting all these things. (Last week in the boys room I found something extra special....ever heard of a trucker bomb? Yes...that. The suburban version. It's a good thing that I have learned to be suspicious when I see something out of the ordinary. I didn't need to open the container to confirm my suspicion. Later, when the culprit offered his excuse, it was pretty laughable. Ask me sometime. Oh, these boys.) I made a mental note (several) to talk with the guilty parties after school, and withhold allowance.

11:15 rolled around and I picked Abner up from preschool. Once home he started in on the raisins in the pantry. Every time I turned around I found him breaking into a new box of raisins. I kept shoeing him away, and he would return after a short time. Like a mosquito. I finally asked him to go play outside while I finished cleaning up. He asked if he could take a treat to the dog. I said yes. So Abner began rummaging through the pantry to get a dog treat himself. It wasn't long before he managed to knock a full quart jar of last year's applesauce off the shelf with a crash.
*sigh*
I came and took him by the hand, led him around the impact zone, handed him a dog treat, and expressed my frustration. I told him to GO OUTSIDE. So he did. I spent the next 10 minutes cleaning up broken glass and a quart of splattered applesauce off all surrounding surfaces.

No sooner had I finished the applesauce clean up, than Abner casually walked through the garage door and announced that the dog was out. "Out? What do you mean, 'out'?!" I deduced from my hasty 30 second conversation with my 3 year old that Abner had opened the driveway gate and River had made his escape. I ran out and started calling for River. Nothing. I asked Abner where he went. He was a little bit vague, but pointed down the road. I grabbed my keys and ordered Abner into the car, and I called Mike. (Again, the words: I hate that dog. I hate that dog....) Mike apologized, but there wasn't much he could do.  We drove around the block, asked a neighbor to keep an eye out, at which point I was ready to surrender River to his fate. When we got back I decided to look more thoroughly in the next door neighbor's back yard. As I walked toward the back corner of their yard I saw River's hairy head pop up and look at me. Caught! I tied River up in the house and got back to the normal demands of the day (trying to get up to speed after missing my Young Women's leadership and class presidency meetings the day before for my parent's mission farewell, attempting to set up last minute visiting teaching visits, finishing plans for Tuesday's YW activity, laundry, etc.).

The usual time for Jessie's arrival from school came and went. Sometimes she checks in and asks to stay after for different things, but I hadn't heard anything from her. I finally tried calling her and she texted back that she had stayed to study for the upcoming AP examination. I made another mental note to talk to her about communicating better with me ahead of time.

Meanwhile, Abner ate about 500 more raisins.

On the way home from the Montessori school I brought up my concerns about the disastrous state of the basement and bedrooms. Groans from the kids. This continued after we got home which led me to get even more frustrated and tense and stern with the kids, right in the middle of which Jessie decided to call for a ride home. Under the circumstances I was short with her over the phone, then apologized and explained some of the contributing frustrations of my day. She was already offended when I picked her up for taking my frustration out on her over the phone. I immediately took that bate and got all up in her face for not letting me know she would be late coming home from school. To which she responded that she HAD told me last week sometime (I vaguely remember this), by informing me (in passing) that there would be an AP study group meeting alternately A days one week and B days the next. What? I CANNOT keep track of which days are A or B days and I CANNOT be expected remember all her MANY commitments. I require frequent communication. I explained all this to her, and told her how important it was, especially on a day like that one where I had stuff coming at me left and right.... but she just got more angry and sassy. I tried to stay calm, but I am pretty sure I had a little bit of talk-show-head-swagger ("oh no you di'n't") going on as I told her she was out of line.

After that I cried. First, not the last, time that day.

Meanwhile, Abner ate 200 more raisins.

I picked up my shopping list and got ready to head to the grocery store, but not before pleading with Noble to PLEASE help out while I was gone, and to set an example of positive attitude for everyone (noting that Jess was still sulking around). And I went to the grocery store with red eyes.

We had dinner sans Mike (he was teaching a Monday night Econ class) where I proposed that we all help with some much-needed weeding in the yard after our meal. More sour attitudes. But I had anticipated this, and while at the store picked up coconut Sobes to offer to anyone who would help me. And thus my crew was assembled.

As we headed into the yard Tillman ran to tell me that he thought Abner might have thrown up in the hallway. I told him to go find out for sure. After a more thorough investigation, the verdict was not throw up but diarrhea in the hallway. So I left the weeds to the kids and went in to take care of Abner. Just as I feared: too many raisins. After cleaning Abner up in the shower, we returned to the weeding where we actually made some good progress (most satisfying part of the day so far).

At this point I was running out of stamina and made a deal with Noble and Tillman that they could watch an episode of Top Gear if they would do the dishes and clean the kitchen. They eagerly agreed, and I sat down for a moment of much needed repose. But when I walked out to check on them I found the kitchen still a mess and that my kitchen crew had completely dropped the ball - each blaming the other. Fed up, I took over and did the dishes, and after a not-so-harmonious family prayer, sent EVERYONE to bed without discussion (except Jessie who had more homework to do).

Later, I split the little boys up and sent Sully to go to sleep in my bed because they were wrestling instead of sleeping.

With the dishes done, and totally worn out, I sat down on the couch. I had a headache.

Later when Mike got home, he came over to condole with me about my day. I was so tired I soon got up to go to bed, picking things up as I went. I walked into the bathroom, eyes half -closed with exhaustion and sat down to use the bathroom, only to discover to my despair that Sully had gotten out of our bed, used my bathroom (half-asleep I am sure) and peed all over the toilet seat. The one I was sitting on.

I cried. Again. (Mike says I screamed. That was probably true.) That was the last straw. I cried as I turned the shower on and washed myself.  Mike was a sympathetic spouse and came to clean the bathroom while I cried myself out of the shower and into bed. Where I slept SOUNDLY.

My consolation is that Tuesday was a great day. Luck will always change. You just have to wait long enough.

40 Years

Can you believe it? I'm Forty.

This is how we celebrated...

Brave souls at the bottom of the Goblin's Lair rappel

Thanks to Mike, I had the best birthday ever. (Except when I turned 6 and I got bunk beds. No one could top that.) Mike planned an epic 40th birthday friend party, and had managed to keep all of it a secret from me until about 2 weeks out when he panicked and told me so he could get help with the logistics. I wasn't disappointed to be let in on the secret. It was a little like finding out if your baby is a boy or girl: whether at the ultrasound or at birth, it's still exciting. I helped him plan the menu and send out the info to our guests, an eclectic group of our friends from different spheres: old high school / college friends, ward / neighborhood friends, 4H friends -- along with my parents and brother, Casey and his family who made the trip to help pull off a magical weekend.

Mike had scheduled the group camp site at the Goblin Valley camp ground. Most of us decided to bring a trailer / RV because temperatures at night were forecast in the 20's. This was a first for us - but I have to say, I could get used to that. A warm, comfortable place to sleep, convenient bathroom, hot running water, a refrigerator....AND the beauty of nature right outside the door...that's what I'm talking about. The only downside was having to fill the tank on the expedition again and again...it takes a lot of gas to pull something that big.

We made the trip down on Thursday evening and set up camp. Our friends, the Laroza's made it down late Thursday night too. Friday morning we got up (Abner woke us up at 6:30 AM yelling, "Emy's here! Emy's here!" after he looked out the window and saw his bff's trailer parked next to ours), made our breakfast and then set out together for Little Wild Horse Canyon where we hiked about 4 miles with our friends.

Abner and Sully spanning the canyon walls in Little Wild Horse

During the day on Friday we were joined by the Sullivan's, the Anderton's, the Wheeler's and about midnight, the Loveland family in their bus. That evening we made a preliminary expedition into the Valley of the Goblin's while Mike and Irwin drove into Hanksville for a spare part to make a repair on one of the trailers (the first of two trips to Hanksville over the weekend). The kids had a blast.

After dinner around the campfire with everyone,  Mike and I stayed up late with the Wheeler's talking about life and burned a good portion of wood while we waited for the Loveland's.

The next morning we had a deluxe group breakfast before some took the horde of kids for a game of capture the flag in the Valley of the Goblins while others of us headed out to rappel the Goblin's Lair. I missed the opportunity the last time we did this so I was excited to go. And a little nervous. I don't like ledges.

Hiking out to Goblin's Lair

Becky preparing to the rappel into Goblin's Lair

At the edge. I kept grilling Casey about EXACTLY what I was supposed to do...and telling him I loved him...just in case. I wanted him to know I trusted him...and not to let me fall.

Me in the middle of my 72 foot descent into Goblin's Lair.

Casey, the expert, bringing up the rear.

Our friend, Kyle, slipped into his Lawrence of Arabia headdress just before he made his descent. He was the one of the last one's down, and we all laughed super hard when we saw him come over the edge dressed for the occasion. Later, after we climbed out of the cavern, he photo bombed this picture of Jessie and her friend. This is probably my favorite picture of the weekend. Seriously funny.

After a leisurely lunch together we all said our goodbyes; some stayed for another day while others returned home.

I was amazed at how well everyone meshed and enjoyed talking & laughing together, not knowing each other before, and with different backgrounds. Some were making plans to get together later independent of us. Such cool people. I am so grateful for good people in my life, those who made the trip to Goblin and those who weren't there. In my 40 years I have been blessed with some of the best friends and mentors anyone could know. I love you all.
Also, thanks and love to all of my family and Mike's family. You are the most important part of my life. We had a get together with my siblings the day after we got back. I love them so much. They are my best friends. (They were there for that unsurpassed 6 year old bunk bed birthday.) And to my parents, my oldest friends: thanks for ALL my birthdays. I love you.

Hygiene and Allergies

Vidhya Nagarajan for NPR

There is a theory out there called the hygiene hypothesis that claims that skyrocketing cases of allergies and autoimmune disorders are attributable to developed societies' obsession with hygiene and eliminating microbes in our environment. I've heard this idea before and it makes perfect sense to me. It relates to the whole immunization discussion happening right now. In the same way that immunizations train a body's immune system to recognize harmful microbes, non-harmful microbes are thought to help train or calibrate our immune systems. Without that calibration the immune system can misbehave.

Recently I heard a news story about a Swedish study that found that children who lived in homes where their families washed their dishes by hand instead of with a dishwasher (i.e., eating surfaces were not as sterile) were 50% less likely to develop allergies.

That is huge.

It gives definite credibility to the hygiene hypothesis, and something we should consider. I plan to keep my dishwasher, but maybe I will lay off bleach mopping and trying to sterilize so much all the time. But then, I probably don't have anything to worry about; in a household with 6 kids (and many other children coming and going on a daily basis), and dog and a cat, kids in the barn with horses...we probably have enough exposure to the kind of microbial life that will train my children's immune systems really well. ha ha...

It's something we should all think about. Read or listen to the news story here. 

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/02/23/387553285/kids-allergies-and-a-possible-downside-to-squeaky-clean-dishes?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&fb_ref=Default#

Something Virtuous, Lovely and of Good Report and Praiseworthy

Recently my old friend Katie posted about her daughter appearing in an Xfinity commercial featuring a new technology to help visually impaired people navigate in finding movies to watch. Their daughter Emily has been blind since birth. When Katie first sent the link I was curious about what technology could help the blind watch movies...and I wanted to see what part Emily would play in all this. I had no idea that her story and her imagination would be the whole focus of the project -- and the lengths that they went to to bring her vision to life. It was beautiful. I wanted to share it.

Apparently it aired tonight during the Oscars.




They also made a short documentary, narrated by Robert Redford, of the making of Emily's Oz.






Also, the Grove's did an interview this week on the Today show. I love that I got to see the whole family in this one. They are some of our favorite people and they moved out of state several years ago so we haven't had much opportunity to see them.



Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I love this so much. I been smiling and smiling. There is good in the world. Thanks Katie and Tyler - we love you guys! And well done Emily...what a personality!
:)

Middle School

Our resident middle schoolers after the middle school dance today. Noble coordinated with half the boys in the 8th grade in wearing red(ish) bow ties and check out how cute Grace's new kitty skirt is!

Noble is in student government and serves on the dance committee. Today they put on their Valentines dance (almost a week after Valentines -- but who's keeping track?). The kids were largely in charge, so there were a few gliches --- like how the kid tasked with bringing the sound system bailed last minute and Noble had to scramble to get our drums amp packed up and back to the school in time for the dance. All in all it appears to have been a success. It doesn't sound like there was a whole lot of actual dancing going on, but plenty of goodies, balloons, loud music,  and Noble reports that an entire group did the worm across the gym floor.  I call that success!

The Way It's Done

I don't know that my life is busier than other people's lives. We all fill our 24 hours. But keeping up with six kids, a puppy, a husband working 2 jobs (and studying for his CFP), busy church callings (several), the house and bills, the cars (3), volunteering at school, and LAUNDRY....

It takes coordination. 

This morning as I was reviewing my weekly To-Do lists over a bagel and yogurt for breakfast I got the notion to take a snap shot of my clipboard. This clipboard is the secret to keeping things running around here ( project lists, shopping lists, school flyers, Dr.'s reminders, the dog walking schedule, To-Do's, important contacts...).

It seemed to me that it would be so interesting someday to look back at these details of our day-to-day life right now. It's a pretty good summary.

Just a few from the list:

* Yoga, scriptures (repeated)

* Scout Store

*Noble eye exam

*Pooper scoop

* call Midvalley Glass (another broken window)

*Make New Beginnings program

*PAY BILLS

*Basketball practice Jessie

* Ma / Pa Trek Meeting

* laundry (repeated)

I think everyone should take a picture of their To-Do lists for posterity.

River Makes a Visit to the Vet

It was time for River to be neutered.So we made his appointment for last Friday. He spent the weekend laying around looking like this. Poor guy.

In the end it hasn't slowed him up much. I had my fingers crossed it would help bring down the energy a notch. Oh well, we will just have to stick it out till his puppy phase has passed.

Everyday

I take more pictures these days with my phone than with our camera, which is too bad because the photos are not the best quality. But then again, it means that I get more candid moments because the phone is more handy. Here are a few from my phone over the past week or two. Images that tell the story of our life.

The most handsome man in the world lives here.

 #6 had an accident with the kitchen stool one day last week. He fell and hit his ear on the corner of the stool back. He kept waking up after he went to bed that night crying that his ear hurt; I worried that maybe he'd done some internal damage. I asked Mike to give him a blessing and called my dad at 10:30 to come and help (thank you Dad!). I am so grateful for the priesthood. This is Abner after the blessing. All is well. The next day he had no complaints.

 On Friday Tillman had a few school friends come over to "work on a project". Tillman had offered no further information when he asked if his friends could come over so I assumed it would be pretty straight forward and simple - maybe some research, writing, maybe putting together some kind of simple presentation. I learned my lesson: always ask for more information. Turns out it was a bit more elaborate. After dropping them off after school with Noble in charge, I ran to do some quick shopping for dinner. When I walked in the door they met me with their demands: a circuit board, wires, a power source and something to build an electric vehicle with. I stood there for a minute completely confused. What? What kind of project was this? They (in their cryptic 5th grade speak) explained that they had to build something that would move on its own using electricity. I asked if there were any official printed instructions I could look at because the stuff they were telling me made no sense. It seemed pretty complicated. 

Plus, it was due Monday, so his was their only shot at it. And we had like an hour. I drew a blank. 

Noble had been home from school that day incapacitated by a pinched nerve in his shoulder.  As I listened to Tillman and company I became more confused by the second, and I was in the middle of about 20 other things demanding my attention that afternoon. The surprise arrival of this crisis definitely threw me off my groove. Luckily I had Noble.  In desperation I looked to him and asked what we should do. Oh how I love, LOVE this engineering son of mine! Together we were finally able to get clarification about Tillman's project. Noble determined that we needed a small 1.5 v motor that he found on Hobby Lobby's website for less than $4 and a battery pack. And we decided that the vehicle could be constructed out of Legos. So the 5th graders and I ran to Hobby Lobby while Noble searched for gears and components in the Legos. Then he helped (*did most of the work*) put it together and tweaked the design till it functioned. I told Tillman that he had to give some credit to Noble in their presentation.

Noble is AWESOME in a crisis. He's like the Melton version of MacGyver. 

Post Script: Noble visited the Chiropractor the next morning for some intensive therapy for his pinched nerve. He can more-or-less stand up straight now. Notice his kinked posture in the picture. He definitely earned some respect by diligently stepping up that day when he could barely even move. Fist bumps.

Living in the Moment

I wish we could keep these two just like this forever. Every day is a magical adventure with the Super A and Super S. ("Together, we save the galaxy! Super Kids!!!")

One thing on my list of things to accomplish over the Christmas break was to take the older kids over to the Family Search Library in Riverton for some extra help with descendancy research. Here are the fruits of our hour of research.

Tillman left with a burning desire to do more Family History research, so Mike helped him set up his own account and he has been digging in. He went with Grandma Ilean one afternoon for another visit - where he connected a missing child to his family, and printed out the card for temple work. I am telling you, the youth of this church are hastening the work in ways I never imagined.

This year a funny thing happened to me as I packed away the Christmas decorations. I cried. Usually by the time January rolls around, I am ready to pack things up, get back to our routine. But this year as I went to unplug the Christmas village I found myself taking another long look at it. As I took decorations off the tree (especially the ones the kids have made or brought home over the years) I could not hold back the tears. I found myself sadly humming "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".  I know that sounds like the sappiest thing you've ever heard. It all seemed kind of silly to me too, and I wondered why I was feeling this way. I concluded that it must be because I hated to see this Christmas end after the special experiences of love and service we've had this year. I also have to admit that some of my sadness came from knowing that we only have a few more Christmases with all our kids living at home. This makes my heart ache.

Tillman officially graduated from the Cub Scout program. He earned his Webelos badge and Arrow of Light last month and this month got to sign the ceremonial bridge, and become an 11 year old scout.

Mike and Tillman in their Alabama crimson -- supporting the ancestral alma mater. Unfortunately, the Tide was knocked out of the tournament. They are rooting for the Ducks in the championship now. 

You may have heard that a fence is going up for River. Jupiter the Space Donkey got by with an invisible fence, but we needed something more concrete for the next generation. So, getting a family dog just got a LOT more expensive. *sigh*

In reality, a backyard fence is something we probably needed to do anyway...safety, privacy, liability. And since we believe in making people really EARN their money, we waited till January to get them started. (I kind of felt bad about those guys digging post holes all day in the cold.)

Sully watches the BBC Walking with Dinosaurs documentaries at least three times a week. So, for Christmas Sully and Abner got tickets to the Walking with Dinosaurs arena show.
It was really amazing. Also amazing was the fact that Sully would rattle off the names of each of the dinosaurs as they came out before the host ever got a chance to say anything. Sully: "Oh! There's Ornithocheirus!"  And then the host would say, "this is Ornithocheirus..." We thought it was pretty funny. :)

Let's just say that the boys had a fantastic night, especially Sully.
Here's a little taste of the action.

Walking with Dinosuars from Angie Melton on Vimeo.